Been awhile since I have been around. My son and I moved about 300 miles from my ex almost 3 weeks ago. A lot of adjustments are having to be made starting over in a new place.
I received a call from ex on Friday night at 130am. She was very emotional and stated that she had screwed up. She stated she wanted her family back. She would do anything to get me to forgive her. I listened carefully as she was almost uncontollably distraught. After she caught her breath and calmed down, I started asking some questions.....
Why are you calling me now? She said she has been thinking about it for a while, that is why she was so upset when she learned I was doing online dating. I asked if she had a fight with her BF. She said no but that they do bicker constantly. She said things were not working out between them and she had decided they should not live together. She saw him just as a friend. I said it seems to be an intimate friendship. She said if you mean sex....yes we have but definately nothing to brag about.
I asked if she was certain that missing our son was the purpose of the call. She said she did not know. She still feels like she does not possess feelings for me like a wife should for a husband but she should have worked harder at saving our marriage.
I validated those comments and told her that before I would ever consider reconcilliation she would have to want ME back. She would have to feel she is missing me. She would need to discontinue this friendship with the OM and lastly she would need to work on herself. I acknowledged that I was not the perfect husband but I realized that much of this was her journey. She mistakened that all of her unhappiness was my fault and temporarily covered it up by entering into another relationship. It was apparent that it was and is much more and that she needed to find out what she needed to become emotionally healthy again.
I told her that I could not let her just move back in. I would consider "dating" to see how things go but I knew that the person she was in the final two years of our marriage was not someone I would be interested in.
Well.....that was the jest of the conversation. Driven exclusively by the reality that her son is now 300 miles away? I question if this call would have ever been made if she had custody.
