If he doesn't respond to you when you tell him that. Drop it for the time-being. Don't harp on it, he heard you.
If he pulls the silent treatment the next time remind him...."your silence is disrespectful to me and means to me you don't want to work on us." Then drop it....remember don't harp, he's heard you. BUT, don't constantly try to bring up R talks either, that will make him feel nagged.
I'm sure you are like me in this respect. For me to feel that "we" are working on this problem I need him to talk with me, just the fact that he's talking with me makes me feel like he's actively doing something...he's validating to me that he agrees we have a problem. But that's not how my H works. He internalizes things. He HATES talking about things he's uncomfortable talking about....sex & intimacy is right at the top of his list for uncomfortable topics. I have had to tell him that this problem isn't going to go away without us talking about it, it won't suddenly solve itself. It's been a part of our R since the beginning, and it hasn't gone away....it's not suddenly going to either, so that means "we" have to work through it if we can...and we can't do that if we don't talk.
No, he doesn't seek me out for conversations, I still have to initiate those and drag things out of him (unless we are in the C's office). As far as affection goes...he does pretty much the same things he always did, with a few new slightly more sexual touches thrown in....but those are still very rare.
Our schedule...hasn't really been much of a schedule lately. Since I came back from my business trip in the beginning of October...we've had sex once....so that would make it once in six weeks (since we ML the time before that)....so far. That is one of the major reasons I've withdrawn the way I have from him now. He's once again not holding to something "HE" said he would do.
It's true our 4-wk alternating work schedule doesn't help things, but it is something we are used to...and it's definitely something he's used to. That is a main reason he'd committed to (and suggested himself) a weekend schedule for us. Oh and believe me...he's not worn out from doing extra stuff at our house when I'm not there....I pretty much take care of all of that.
If he's resentful that he doesn't see me more he never says so, so I wouldn't really know on that end. I guess though that if that was a problem....the only solution to that would be for him to find another job (it's he who has the rotating schedule, not me...I work days). That is pretty much why I try to leave the "schedule" up to him...to try to accomodate those days when he truly might be more tired than others.
Any other thoughts?
GEL I'd also wait to bring up another really serious R talk until after he sees a Dr. If he is depressed you may be overwhelming him. If he's not, then fair game.
