Good you you GEL to stand up for yourself and call him out on things he is doing or should I say not doing. Yeah that is what I started doing to was just thinking it didn't add up because I to agree it takes two people to cause conflict in the marriage. Sometimes one person can do more to add to the problems. But all in all one person is never to blame. We all have faults. I to use to hang on to this excuse of hubby's. It was like well maybe it will just take time he was just so damaged by these prior women.
Has your hubby noticed just how distanced you have become? You mean he didn't even try his Sunday initiation at all?


GEL things have been very difficult for us. A big part of me just wants to move on. But marriage vows I take seriously so I keep thinking is there more I could have done....or should be doing. And some how some way I muster up this strength to yet try again. I read DB again and try to find things I might have not tried. Right now my husband for the last 4 months I would say has acted like he absolutely care less about sex. He has not initiated at all. I have tried twice and was successful. But the last time I tried the weirdest thing happened. First let me say my husband shows no emotion at all. Except for anger really anymore. So what happened was so totally out of character for him. We had a babysitter for the evening. We went out and had dinner and then went and rented some movies. We came home and watched one of the movies and ate some snacks. Having a babysitter is rare so we had turned off the TV and he had not made a move but just rolled over and went to sleep. I was sooooo angry I couldn't hold it in. I told him it had been 6 weeks since sex. That I thought we were going to try and work on this marriage if he moved back in I was under the assumption that meant he wanted to work on it. I told him I couldn't understand why he was this way. Hpow it was so unfair for me to be in a relationship like this. That I was young and so depressed to be in a sex starved marriage. I tried to get him to talk but he refused. Fine I told him I guess I should just accept that maybe I should do the intiating all the time. I told him it would be w waste to not enjoy an empty house together and I tried to initiate. He flat out told me no that he didn't want to. That threw me for a loop. Because in all these years he has never said no if I initiated. I was even angrier after this happened. And flat out told him losten we need to talk about this even if it means were up all night. We have to get things out and in the open.
The thing he did next was sooooooooo out of character for him. He srated crying. I asked him what was wrong and he wouldn't respond. After asking like 5 more times what was the matter and how I could help him the only thing he would say is that he is just sad all the time. I asked about me, about our relationship.he was like, " No! This Has NOTHING to do with you!" It's about me. I am just sad all the time.

It has really thrown me for a loop. I do think maybe there is a possibility he is depressed?? I know as his wife I need to try and help. But I can't force him to see a doctor. I also have to try and get passed this anger I have for him right now. I have so much built up resentment. I was just checking out our insurance program this morning for what they pay for counseling. Turns out counseling is covered in his insurance program. I think it is neccessary for him to go and then me. Then maybe both of us together??