We are now entrenched in the weekday workaday routine and true to my H's form....he's reverted back to his usual self....at least until the weekend rolls around again.
Apparantly the only day/time my H will actually consider sex is Sunday nights...any other day/time is just simply not considered. Oh, and since nothing happened this past weekend, that means I get to wait until next Sunday rolls around again to see if anything happens then.
I've noticed this pattern with him by taking some time to really look back in our history. Any time I have mentioned a "schedule" Sunday was a night he'd pick......when he last brought up a "schedule" he chose Sunday night as well. Why Sunday? I dunno. But it seems to be the one and only day of the week he feels he can fit that in (at the very end of the day). Even if I say something about "honey, do you think we can mess around a bit this weekend?" he waits until Sunday night....right before we go to sleep, even if I'm the one trying to get things going.
I Don't know exactly why I'm bringing this up here....I think I'm really just journaling a bit and posting thoughts/observations to see what other people think as well and get feedback. You guys know me....I'm in a constant search for understanding!
Now...true, I would love to ML more than once a week, but if my H would actually hold true to that one night a week...I could live with that. Would I still like it more often? Sure I would, but that at least would be him following-through on something he said and holding to it....which in turn would make me feel like I/We were a priority to him.
Apparantly now he thinks that because he initiated one time (which he did several weeks ago...for the 1st time in our R) it's my turn again. I think this because he did bring it up in one of our sessions, I had said something about being exhausted having to do all the initiating in our R and he threw up that he HAD just initiated and that he HAD done it just to make sure I was "taken care of", and made it sound like now it's my turn (I didn't know we were supposed to take turns).
Anyway...other than that things are pleasant around the GEL household. We aren't fighting, we aren't bickering, we have a great time with our 2S, there's just simply no EC at all. To give him some credit though he is making attempts at being more affectionate, and did comment on an outfit I wore yesterday which he thought I looked really good in. Things like that are nice...but right now not enough to snap me out of this....but I accept the compliments and the affection and do try to validate him, but I am still not seeking him out.
I also found this interesting. Last night I mentioned to my H that there was a party I would like to go to for a co-worker who is leaving, she is someone I've worked closely with. I suggested that we could get a sitter for our S and go, his response was "oh no that's fine, you can go I'll watch Ian." I did explain that I'd like him to go with me, that it could be fun for us because these people are a fun group and it would get us out....instead he opted for sending me out dressed to the 9's on my own. I couldn't help myself from thinking "would you like to just gift wrap me and send me off to another man as well?" Now, no I'm not considering an A or anything like that, that was just the thought that ran through my head...because I do know that some of the guys that will be at this party don't consider a married woman out of bounds. I simply told him that I would really like him to go with me, but if he didn't I would still go and wish my friend well (I won't stay long, but I will still go....and then perhaps catch a movie on my own.) But one thing I'm not going to do, which I would have in the past is...not go just because he didn't want to.
Ok...I'm done for now, just needed to get those thoughts out.
