By social cues I mean understanding from others that a joke is in poor taste without someone saying so, or others may drop hints about wanting to do something different from what he may be doing but he doesn’t get it, or …… your tell him you want quality time and he buys you something. Does he truly understand what you want or how you feel? I know you’ve probably told him this a thousand times, but maybe he still can’t “get” it.
The reason I mentioned all this, and it is only a theory, nothing more, is from my wife’s work with Asperger-type kids. They don’t get it either. They can be very bright, fully capable, intelligent, but don’t get these implied social cue. And this ranges on a continuum so your husband may not be Asperger’s at all, but have some of these traits. I think the thing these people understand is when they experience the thing you’re talking about. Until then, your words are just words. He understands what you say but doesn’t get the emotion that underlies them.
When instruction or decision making and the like are clear and explicit, these people can follow along and interact just fine. The interaction is purely intellectual, mechanical. Personality has nothing to do with it, whether they are happy or not.
I think this is a genetic predisposition. These people are in some ways too caught up in their own world, are too obsessive, have difficulty switching tasks, but once they do so, they become engrossed in whatever they are doing. So they make good scientists or researchers. FWIW, just an idea.
