Thanks for weighing in, I appreciate that, and BTW nice to see you around again....you've been missed.
His staying within what is familiar is exactly what is frustrating me the most in our R at the moment. I realize he's doing what is familiar to him and he won't step out of that comfort zone....even though doing what's familiar to him doesn't work in this R (he's become the walking epitomy of an exercise in insanity). I honestly believe I've done what I can to communicate clearly to him what I need of him, and exactly what he can do to provide me with what I need (I've given a variety of suggestions and examples, any of which would make me happy).
I still try to communicate to him what he can do and what would work for me. Last night, he talked about running us both a bath after our S was in bed. That, would work for me as quality time....I told him what a good idea I thought that was and that it sounded really nice. Did it happen? Nope. Instead he gave our S a bath (which I appreciated). This is something that is beginning to become typical of him. He will "talk" about doing things I've told him I would like, but very rarely actually follows-through on them. Usually when he does follow-through it's after I've gotten really upset, or have really withdrawn as well....so he feels he's in the dog house.
Now, I probably could have taken his comment as a lead to go run the bath and let him know when it was ready....but that defeats the purpose to me. He was talking about it...he needed to follow-through on it. IMPO I need him to learn to DO these things, not talk about them and then expect me to do the follow-through. If I have to do it, then what's the point?
Just doing a bit of venting here folks...thanks for bearing with me!
