Quote: The problem is the inability to skillfully negotiate the impasse.
No, your problem is just getting the other person to the table. If they don't WANT to negotiate, what then? Sweety, you've got your cart so far ahead of your horse, you don't even realize your horse is out to pasture, ready to start a new life.
You cannot change another human's wants and desires unless they ALLOW YOU (or they want) to change them. Period. Yes, that is an irrefutable law of nature.
Quote: The important thing is to find that special key that will allow each person to move off dead center.
That's called both people WANTING to reach the same goal EQUALLY as much.
You are going on and on about negotiating and concessions and one person giving up something while the other person gains, and vice versa....
Cobra, how do you even GET a person to the negotiating table if they don't want to be there?
THAT'S what this whole changing yourself first business is about. You don't have a pot to piss in right now, much less a window to throw it out of....
When one person REFUSES to negotiate (change), you implement the only plan available to you... THAT'S what I've (and everyone else) has been talking about. If we all had spouses that were willing to work with us, NONE of us would even BE here...
It's getting them to be "willing to work" that's the FRIGGIN' PROBLEM! You think you are the only person on the planet that knows how to skillfully negotiate? Please.
Are we on the same page now? If not, sure, go ahead and do all that stuff you've written out on your thread. Let us know how that works for you. Keep us posted.
