I think you and I are in agreement. The best would be for our S to have some inner desire to do what we want/need. Next of course would be them doing it out of love. But, as you say, just doing it in an attempt to check off a list or mollify us temporarily is wholly unsatisfying.
The question then becomes, how do we know. When your S is a closed book (as yours and mine are), how do we really know what the base intention is? Some may say that it doesn't matter, that our happiness comes from inside ourselves and shouldn't depend on our S or anyone else. That may be right, but I have a hard time with that. Gotta work on it.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
