It's really kind of interesting to me right now....I've been withdrawing from my H for the last several weeks...and NOW he is beginning to notice. Actually I don't think it's so much that he didn't notice initially, but in the past I've snapped out of this behavior fairly quickly....now, I'm simply not. I have never withdrawn from him for weeks on end.
In the past I would always force myself to conciously pull out of it within just a few days, this time...I simply don't have the the motivation to do that. So now, he's starting to do a few things....like last night he rubbed my back, which was a decent backrub for him, he actually put some effort into it...while I was sleeping. This morning...I get an "I love you & have a great day e-mail" (something he virtually never does)....and this evening he calls me at home, and in a way was speaking gently to me....it almost sounded like he was trying to sound upbeat and loving on the phone.
These things are nice, I'm definitely not complaining...I simply do not trust them at this point. His pattern in the past has been to do things when he thinks I'm at my breaking point....then a few days, or weeks past...and he's right back to where he was. This time I simply don't trust it. I've been doing quite a bit of thinking about it and that's exactly what it comes down to now....I don't trust him....and that's why his behavior isn't snapping me out of it this time. Not to mention that all of the things I've mentioned have all happened within a 24-hr time frame. Definitely not enough time has passed for him to be doing any of these things on a fairly regular basis.
Naturally, the thought also crossed my mind that we will be going to MC tomorrow...and he's trying to chalk up some brownie points before we go in to our MC's office LOL. Sad, but true...he's done that before as well. He tries to make me happy right before we go in to talk to her.
Anyway...these are just some thoughts I wanted to jot down before I forgot.
Just got information in the mail today on my upcoming trip to London & Venice....if nothing else puts me in a good mood besides my son...that'll do it!!!
