Seems I've been locked out of my own thread again...so here I go journaling once more.
It's been a month since I went on my business trip and I'm still stuck in the no EC mode, I'm pretty much numb towards my H....especially since our one and only sexual encounter (such as it was) after I returned.
I'm truly having to force myself to do anything physical towards him now...I literally have to think about it. If he puts his hand on my leg or something similar when sitting or laying by me...I have to think "GEL you really need to do something back."...and sometimes I do, but many times I simply cannot seem to will myself to do it. I'm not my normal happy self anymore either, I'm very somber....and that is just not like me.
Lately though, like within the last couple of days only (after nearly a month of this), my H seems to really be noticing my withdrawal. I can see him making attempts...I'm just having a very difficult time responding to them. Right now I'm trying to wait this out, hoping it's merely a phase....so I haven't said anything to my H yet about it. We have a MC session tomorrow and I'm sure my withdrawal will be brought up and addressed, which is fine of course. I'm not trying to make things worse between us, it's just that it feels like all the energy I have has been zapped right out of me. I don't have the energy to put ANYTHING into our R right now. It's as if when I think about hugging him, or think about doing something else in an affectionate manner....my body just turns to lead.
