You have NAILED my feelings on this subject, especially the negotiated sex question, but even the broader point. Only with relatively-similar drives, and BOTH spouses agreeing to work on this, will this work, at least long-term, IMHO. And the further APART the drives, the even MORE committed both spouses have to be to the process, and even then I think they're destined for a life of fits-and-spurts and a lot of heartache and frustration.
I'm sure many would consider this the pessimistic view, but it's just been my observation on this board for the past two years.
