Absolutely, I agree with you. I was just answering CeMar's question. I think the most heart-breaking thing I've ever experienced was to finally realize how my actions had affected my H, for truly, I had NO IDEA. Awareness can be a very painful thing... and it could be why so many LDs can not or will not see it. It's a pretty darn horrifying moment, and then to top it off, you have to figure out how to change yourself, to continue to try your best when your spouse is not yet willing to forgive or forget... they're still being their lovely obsitnate selves because they're afraid to hope, or afraid to believe the changes are permanent... or because they truly are azzholes. It's tough, no mistake about that.
Do not take my response to CeMar's question as an indication of some lack of empathy or compassion for the HD plight. He asked a simple question and I gave a simple answer. We all know the LD/HD experience is anything but.
Corri
Corri, I know you were just answering Cemars question. I very glad that you have been able to see how you have impacted you H. I am also graftfull that my wife after nearly 20 years figured out too that her actions caused definate reaction and lack of action sometimes on my part. I appreciate your insights, your and others have helped me over the last couple of years a bunch and I thank you for that. I tend to get a bit sensitive to these issues as I feel many LD women are blind to how distructive the lack of imitancy can be too the entire R. I know it's just as distructive for the Ladies that are the HD hooked up with a LD mate also. I still think that we guys are treated differently (except here) than women dealing with a LD mate. We are suppose to control and surpress our desire. The man who strays because he's been neglected for years is an outcast and louse. The women in the same situation gets sympathy and support from friends and family because she been living an "unfullfilled" life. I know the this was much different 20-30 years ago. I hate double standards. Again, Corri thanks.
