Lost Gal, your description does not fit my bf either, nor would it have fit my late husband. I would have been very happy with playful, "animalistic" sex with minimal EC. I never doubt/ed that both of these men love/d me very much. For them it just doesn't/didn't translate into sex.
Corri, sorry to hear you're going through a D. We'd be interested in what's been happening if you want to start your own thread.