Quote: Why reprocess the present in the past and have a "bad feeling" (terrified) when you are in a nice warm bed with a H who is telling you that you would look good doing xxxx?
Because my H has consistently talked about what he would like to have happen--but does not follow it up with action. That is, he would say "I think xyz is so sexy; I want you to do that sometime." So I would do it and he'd pretend not to notice, which is even harder to stomach than someone outright rejecting you, imo. So it is stinkin thinkin but ST that has a basis in actual events. His past behavior is coloring my faith in him, in the present. Why wouldn't it?
However, the difference in my thinking is this: Back in the day, I would have assumed that his indifference was due to me being unattractive. Now if I had to guess, I'd say it's due to his own sense of awkwardness but, honestly, I try not to go there. My loving-but-firm "your loss babe" attitude (verbiage stolen from blackfoot) has done lots for our situation.
Quote: How do you know? Did he tell you?
I was not saying that he doesn't find me attractive. I was saying that my loss of confidence has made me less attractive in his eyes and, yes, he's told me that.
Burn the good and not the bad. That's a gem!
I have a habit of keeping the good to myself...guarding it, protecting it, relishing it...and sharing the bad. It is NOT my intention to gripe or make H out to be a monster; like I said, the good stuff just seems to precious to share. There is definitely lots of good stuff going on. There has been more movement in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years. Thanks again for clarifying your post.
