Dave, LOTS of good stuff here. I've had to read it a few times to absorb it all, kwim?
Lemme ask you a couple questions..things that I didn't understand. Firstly, what did you mean by becoming more like you and less like her? In what ways were you like her?
Secondly, the pursuit thing. As you may remember this is a biggie for me. I want my H to pursue me because, as a woman, this feels right and natural. It feels bizarre to intentionally set it up your way--where I'm 100% responsible for the sex "I get". Truthfully I don't want to get anything from him; I want it to be a mutual thing.
At one time, my intense desire for this was due to me needing to prove to myself that I was desirable..attractive..even that I had some kind of power over him. I no longer feel this way. I know I am an attractive lady, furthermore I know that H feels this way, too.
And still the desire for pursuit is very strong in me.
It is my suspicion that your wife is responding to your newfound strength and clarity as it pertains to sex than anything else. Women find strength and confidence in men an irresistable combo. Bravo to you for digging deep inside and finding that within.
Last night we were talking about what is "sexy" and my H said that he would find it sexy if I walked up to him while he's in bed and hiked one leg up onto the bed (I'm naked of course) and seduced him, in that pose. I gulped and realized that I could have done this a couple years ago and now would be terrified. I also came to the lightning fast conclusion that this is MY doing. My problem and the solution lies within me. I let my confidence ooze right outta me and, in the process, surely became even less attractive to him.
Anyway, thanks for the post. Lots of food for thought there.
