H: The next time I call, will be... H: I will make things right. Just leave things as it is, and I will sort it out. H: That's a fair question. I will get back to you. H: I have [thought about it]...just got to structure it to lay it out nicely for you. H IMed: Don't show too much of your boobs this Friday...they are still mine!!! H: Promise me you won't talk to you boss yet about the job. H: Don't buy the phone
What do I think? I think these all sound like stalls. Promises of things to come, but never delivering. Statements to keep things status quo.
Hey Yoyo, I hope your break allowed you to recharge your DB batteries.
*sigh* same ole same ole.. Yes, Mr Yoyo still seems to be dancing the same old dance.
Now personally, I would be very hesitant to sign anything as in my opinion he is not putting his money where his mouth is. But that is just my opinion, obviously it is a lot different when it is your life we are talking about.
I think these all sound like stalls. Promises of things to come, but never delivering. Statements to keep things status quo. NY - Mmmm...Yes, that does look it, huh? But I think things will have to turn to one way or the other in two months time. Not so much of my deadline (thought I did say end January)...but more of external forces. H has to give an answer to his company as to whether his family is joining him in Country X or not. Regardless of what happens, ow still cannot join him as his dependent because he is still married to me. Unless ow gets her own job herself... I guessed if I put this in perspective, status quo is better than going back months ago where he was rather adamant to leave us for ow.
I hope your break allowed you to recharge your DB batteries. Kismet - Errr...not sure about recharging batteries... me with two highly active boys??? Did feel kinda sad during the trip...met a family with 2 boys, and S8 kept on talking to the dad, sort of "clingy" in a way. Makes me realise that S8 is sort of craving for adult male attention...which he is not getting from his own father. This guy was pretty friendly towards S8 too... playing and talking to him like how his own father should be doing. Also, both S8 and this guy got stung by jellyfish..and he even helped to put some remedy on S8 on those spots.. *sigh* This really made me sad....
I would be very hesitant to sign anything as in my opinion he is not putting his money where his mouth is. But that is just my opinion, obviously it is a lot different when it is your life we are talking about. Not so much of signing stuff...but more of filling the application forms for the international school. As advised by my mentor, he said that I should do everything in my control to steer my situation to where I want it to be. And if I "hold" back on those forms, H could always turn the tables and say "I wanted you all to come, but you didn't want to sort out the boys' schools"... So, by doing my part of sending those forms, the ball is back in his court. So, if things go bad, I could tell myself that I've done all I could to keep the family together and will have no regrets... Thinking back... this was my "mantra"... that I do everything in my power and control, and if H still wants to leave the family, I can sincerely say that I've done my best. So, I shall fill those forms up and send it off...Just need to detach and take that exercise as merely an exercise...
Journalling... I did send H a text yesterday "As advised, I will contact the school directly, and will fill those forms and send them to you. The rest is up to you". H: I will call you when I reach Country Y. Already spoke to the boys Me: U forgot? U r not supposed to call me. Anyway, you have a good trip. It's like going back to college except that you are older....not sure about the wiser bit". H: Boarding. Will call you when I reach Country Y.
When I went to my mom's place. My mom told me that H called to talk to the boys, and called again to look for me...
Later that night, H did call me when he reached Country Y. I was a little apprehensive. But was glad that our convo was rather light... which was good. Then he said that he'll call me when he reaches London. Later, H texted "Boarding now. Call you when I reach London".
This morning (Wednesday), I got into work, and saw that H just logged into MSN Messenger...and he IMed H: Check this out. I am logging in from the plane. Me: I was just about to ask how on earth... Blah blah blah.. Again H IMed "Don't talk to your boss yet" Was a short IM session... he said that the free session was only a few minutes.. And said "I'll text you when I get there"
Mmmm Yoyo I really don't have much advice at all. Your H is very up and down but I agree with NYS he constantly talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. I bet now that he is in London and nowhere near the OW your phone sex convo's start again, lets see if I am right.
Other than that no advice just hoping things turn out for you the way you want, I will keep checking in on you and goodluck...KDU
KDU - I agree that my H just talks and talks...and I am getting really really tired...
Journalling.. From my last post...things got bad for me that is. I went out lunch with my bosses and consultant on Wednesday. After lunch, I started to feel really weird, dizzy and flushed. As I was driving back to work (from lunch), I could feel as if that I was going out, and had heart palpitations and shortness of breath...Thought it was all psychological with the stress that has been put onto me by my sitch. I told my consultant that he would have to drive back to the office as I was feeling really really faint. We exchanged spots and I was scratching my right leg, and he said "your leg is red", and I said "oh..must be from my scratching" and then he said "not that one, the other leg as well" and I looked...both my thighs were all red and I looked at my arms...all rashes and I thought...this is NO psychological ... Went back to the office and popped into the medical clinic next door. The doctor looked at me and said "you've got a bad case of allergic reaction and you've got to get to the hospital quick". I got someone to drive me to the hospital...I tell you...I had the thought "will I die" on the way to the hospital... At the hospital, I had jabs and IVs...had to stay overnight...Got discharged from the hospital yesterday (Thursday), and here I am back at work on Friday... Have to say that it was AN experience!!! It wasn't the rashes that worried me, but more of the heart palpitations and shortness of breath. Don't know what caused it...perhaps the preservative used in my lunch?? Don't know...
Anyway, H did call me on Wednesday, and asked how I was..told him that I was in the hospital blah blah blah.. Not long later, got a text from him "u take care too. sms me if u need anything. pls get well...still need the hottie!!!" Thursday early in the morning...5 am. I couldn't sleep and texted H (It would be 9 pm Wed in London) and asked him if he felt a bit elated when he found out that I was in the hospital..and that if something would have happened to me, all his troubles would be gone.. H: pls don't be mad ok!!! I'm concerned. Me: I know that you are concerned about me as a friend, mother of the boys, maybe s@x partner...but I am sure you were a little elated. We need to seriously talk about the boys. If something happens to me, what happens to them... H: never even crossed my mind. Pls go sleep and stop worrying. Me: As I told you, I am not worrying about myself. Just the boys. Really need to talk about this. Please don't brush me off. Life is too short. Perhaps you deserve to be happy, to be with her. As I told you, I will sign the papers after two years of separation, and you serve me the papers. H: Wow. U talked a lot. I am really concern fo u and I am not brushing anything off. Pls rest well, and get back to shape. Nite Nite Hottie. Then our texts sort of went haywire towards "hottie", low-cuts, t*ts, c**k, wet, c**t, *ss etc etc. Then H texted "Oi!! Can u pls sleep. Don't want your heart palpitate again!!!! Nite nite".
Thursday noon: Got discharged from the hospital. Saw H had texted "How are u feeling?? I know...I am not suppose to contact u so often. Just wanna know if u are ok?? What did the doc say?? Me: I am okay. WOn't die yet. Dissapointed?? Also, I know that she is not in the country. Is she with you in London? H: Pls stop with me being disappointed. HOw would u know that she is not in the country?? Like I said, pls leave things as it is. I said I'll sort it out n I will. (okay...the hospital was in the vicinity of ow's house...and my mom actually drove me pass her house. Saw that her car was there...and my mom said that it was there on Monday too. If she's in the country, she would be at work, and her car won't be at home....So, Yes, we ASSumed that she is with H) Me: All I am asking is IF she is with you. She is with you, right? Please don't monkey with the answer. H: What is your problem?? I said many times already...just let it be and i'll sort it out!!! If you want this to work, let me do it as i see fit. Pls... This idiot can't even answer such a simple question..which really gives me the impression that she IS with him. H tried to call many times. I didn't want to answer his calls. Cut him off. Here are some of his texts (have omitted my own).. H: don't wanna answer then fine...You just can't leave it alone. Whateve i say u won't believe anyway. All i am saying is...just let it be n i'll sort it out!!! H: up to you...but i'm gonna still try my best to make it work. up to u to believe or not. I'll contact u soon. H: I am not pushing blame to you. just leave it to me to sort things out. i know what i am doing... H: I am begging u to just stop n leave things as it is. I will sort it out. ANd I really don't understand what u are trying to achieve by talking to her. H: I am with the customer now and i really don't wanna go thru this. give me a break ok...I've already made up my mind so just bloody let me sort it out myself. Not helping when u r pushing me like this.... H: Whatever u say...I am already doing my part to rectify the issue. You will hear from me soon. Pls rest n take care. Spoke to the boys already just now. H: U go figure out which option i'll take. 1) I decide 2 go with her n leave u. U will talk to her in Jan and drag her down. I'll then louse u n her, or 2) I break it off with her and stay with u. Obviously I'll go 4 option 2 cos I'm actually cornered. So stop pushing me n let me do my part. Ok?? Me: Stop with this cornering sh*t!!! I deserve someone who deserves me. Just stop bothering me! H:I deserve u. U have been a good wife and mum. So let me rectify this ok?? WOn't bother u anymore till I resove this. Sill love u alot. (I stopped replying. Refused to answer any of his calls...I am going DARK DARK DARK!!) I was on the phone with a girlfriend, when I heard a message beeped on my mobile. It was H "tried calling house but engaged. Call u tmrw. Starting course again". I didn't reply. As I said, I am going DARK DARK DARK. I am not going to speak to him nor reply to his texts anymore. I am just soooooo fed-up with his games. I really don't want to participate anymore... Just soooo fed-up and tired!!! Not gonna fill-up those forms for the boys either. If he is d@mn serious to have the family over with him, he comes and do those stuff himself. I am dropping the rope. I am sooo tired that I seriously don't have the strength to hold onto the rope for him anymore. I am just going DARK DARK DARK.... *sigh*...
Okay..for my GAL... * Dinner tonight with the gals!! Gonna wear my plunging neckline dress....
Saturday.. * Yoga on Saturday. * Lunch at GF's house on Saturday * Dental appointment (not exactly a GAL but...)
Sunday * Put up Christmas Tree * A little boy's Birthday Party
Actually, I've been pampering myself yesterday too...After my discharge from the hospital, I went straight to a facial, and then a pedicure and manicure...
Egawds woman....I've been there....it ended up I have a food allergy towards shellfish...yes I can actually die by eating my favorite foods. I had two terrible near death experiences, one in Vegas and the other in Boston where I was assured the oysters were from Portland (ended up being Portland OR, not Maine)...no more shellfish for me...it's the exact same scenario, symptoms. Terribly scary isn't it. Good to know that you are okay now...but I strongly suggest you go and have testing to find out what the allergy is...I just read on CNN how a little teenage girl died from kissing a boy who had just eaten a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich...she had a food allergy to peanuts. Take this stuff seriously.
Good on you for going dark and getting back to GAL...he's so close to being there but he needs to get knocked down a step to move up to the plate. Take care you!!
Yoyo - First - Get your doctor to prescribe what is called here in the States an Epipen. It is an autoinjecting device containing a dose of epinephrine - you just hold it to your thigh and it does the rest. It can save your life if you have another reaction and medical help isn't arriving quickly enough. You should carry it with you at all times.
Second - tell me exactly, everything you ate or drank with that meal, and I can tell you which items are the most likely culprits. I'm an MD and I happen to know a lot about food allergies.
Third - quit goading your H, honey. I know he's frustrating, but you did tell him he has until January, why blow all your hard work by pushing his buttons now?
StrongNSassy, KML, Kismet - Hey Gals...Thanks for your concern about me... Feeling much much better. Thanks!
I strongly suggest you go and have testing to find out what the allergy is...I just read on CNN how a little teenage girl died from kissing a boy who had just eaten a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich...she had a food allergy to peanuts. Strong - I am not too sure if we have this type of testing facility over here in this part of the world. And yes, I did hear about the girl who died after kissing her boyfriend. Very tragic!
Good on you for going dark and getting back to GAL...he's so close to being there but he needs to get knocked down a step to move up to the plate.
Third - quit goading your H, honey. I know he's frustrating, but you did tell him he has until January, why blow all your hard work by pushing his buttons now? Strong, KML - I just don't have the energy to deal with H's empty words now. I figured that going DARK and not have any contacts would be better than having NEGATIVE CONTACTS. At my current emotional turmoil, I just cannot find anything positive to say, whatever I say might end up pushing all his WRONG buttons, so might as well go DARK and be somewhat NEUTRAL.
First - Get your doctor to prescribe what is called here in the States an Epipen. It is an autoinjecting device containing a dose of epinephrine - you just hold it to your thigh and it does the rest. It can save your life if you have another reaction and medical help isn't arriving quickly enough. You should carry it with you at all times. KML - You think I need to? I have never ever had any allergic reactions to any foods. I am sort of a Garbage Can or sorts.. Could a person develop "sudden" allergies as they grow older (urrghh hate to use the word older...)??
tell me exactly, everything you ate or drank with that meal, and I can tell you which items are the most likely culprits. I'm an MD and I happen to know a lot about food allergies. KML - Hey Doc!! I'm glad that I am getting FREE medical advice... Okay, I had a Mocha Latte, Butter Fish with Paprika Sauce and some mayo. That's about it. The Butter Fish did taste a bit weird. Not "rotten" weird but some kind of chemically-weird taste. Because it was not "rotten", I ate the whole thing. My boss reckons that it might be the chemical-preservative that may have been used on the fish. What do you think?
Your weekend sounds lovely (except for the dentist). Kismet - Weekend was good! Did put up the Christmas tree and decorated it. THis is the first time that I put up the tree myself. H used to do it in the previous years. The dentist visit was not bad...at least, I didn't have to pay for this visit!!
Journalling... As I've mentioned, I've gone DARK on H since my last post. On Friday evening, I did get two calls on my mobile. AS the caller ID didn't show any numbers, I knew it was H (as he was calling from overseas) and I let it go to voicemail. H then texted "Called but no answer. Up to you. I am taking customer to see XYZ on Sunday and Monday. Spoke to boys already". I didn't reply to his text. I met my MIL later in the evening at my Mom's house (She was having dinner over at my mom's and to visit the boys. Boys stayed over at my moms). I was in my plunging neckline dress... As I was getting in my car, she (MIL) ran out and asked "Why are you wearing such a low cut dress? Who are you having dinner with? Man or woman?" I just looked at her, gave her a BIG grin and said "Mmmm..hubby doesn't want me..." and left it at that. Ha ha ha. WOndered if she texted her son!!! I have to say that I looked GOOD. He he he. Was a frumpy mummy.....before..not now!! Met the girls for dinner..one of them even coined the term "GLAMOUR GIRLS" to refer to us... he hehe.
Next Day.. H did text and said that he was taking the customer to a football match, and "hope all is well". As a courtesy, I just replied "All is well" and left it at that.
Sunday, AM - Couldn't really sleep and did come out from my DARKNESS to send H a text "For any reconcialiation, I would expect 100% in truthfulness, commitment and effort. And I know you can't do it. So, no point being in limbo. We need a clean cut so that all of us can rebuild our lives. So why prolong all this? Please email me your separation proposal. Thanks. P/s Paid your credit card bills and your mom has paid your insurance) H replied " Wow..Your English is very heavy in your text. Say what u wanna say but I know what I am doing. In fact, things has never been clearer than now. U'll hear from me very soon. Tell the boys I love them. Tell their mum too. Nite Nite. Didn't reply to this text. Don't want to be optimistic nor pessimistic. Just gonna let it go... H did call the house in the evening. I was out in the garden with soil up to elbows, my domestic helper called out to me but told her to just get the boys to speak to H. The boys took turns to talk to H and he told them that he would call them again tomorrow. So....another day has gone past...
I just looked at her, gave her a BIG grin and said "Mmmm..hubby doesn't want me..." and left it at that. Ha ha ha. WOndered if she texted her son!!! I have to say that I looked GOOD. He he he
Yoyo ~ you wicked girl
The dentist visit was not bad...at least, I didn't have to pay for this visit!!
