KDU - I agree that my H just talks and talks...and I am getting really really tired...
Journalling.. From my last post...things got bad for me that is. I went out lunch with my bosses and consultant on Wednesday. After lunch, I started to feel really weird, dizzy and flushed. As I was driving back to work (from lunch), I could feel as if that I was going out, and had heart palpitations and shortness of breath...Thought it was all psychological with the stress that has been put onto me by my sitch. I told my consultant that he would have to drive back to the office as I was feeling really really faint. We exchanged spots and I was scratching my right leg, and he said "your leg is red", and I said "oh..must be from my scratching" and then he said "not that one, the other leg as well" and I looked...both my thighs were all red and I looked at my arms...all rashes and I thought...this is NO psychological ... Went back to the office and popped into the medical clinic next door. The doctor looked at me and said "you've got a bad case of allergic reaction and you've got to get to the hospital quick". I got someone to drive me to the hospital...I tell you...I had the thought "will I die" on the way to the hospital... At the hospital, I had jabs and IVs...had to stay overnight...Got discharged from the hospital yesterday (Thursday), and here I am back at work on Friday... Have to say that it was AN experience!!! It wasn't the rashes that worried me, but more of the heart palpitations and shortness of breath. Don't know what caused it...perhaps the preservative used in my lunch?? Don't know...
Anyway, H did call me on Wednesday, and asked how I was..told him that I was in the hospital blah blah blah.. Not long later, got a text from him "u take care too. sms me if u need anything. pls get well...still need the hottie!!!" Thursday early in the morning...5 am. I couldn't sleep and texted H (It would be 9 pm Wed in London) and asked him if he felt a bit elated when he found out that I was in the hospital..and that if something would have happened to me, all his troubles would be gone.. H: pls don't be mad ok!!! I'm concerned. Me: I know that you are concerned about me as a friend, mother of the boys, maybe s@x partner...but I am sure you were a little elated. We need to seriously talk about the boys. If something happens to me, what happens to them... H: never even crossed my mind. Pls go sleep and stop worrying. Me: As I told you, I am not worrying about myself. Just the boys. Really need to talk about this. Please don't brush me off. Life is too short. Perhaps you deserve to be happy, to be with her. As I told you, I will sign the papers after two years of separation, and you serve me the papers. H: Wow. U talked a lot. I am really concern fo u and I am not brushing anything off. Pls rest well, and get back to shape. Nite Nite Hottie. Then our texts sort of went haywire towards "hottie", low-cuts, t*ts, c**k, wet, c**t, *ss etc etc. Then H texted "Oi!! Can u pls sleep. Don't want your heart palpitate again!!!! Nite nite".
Thursday noon: Got discharged from the hospital. Saw H had texted "How are u feeling?? I know...I am not suppose to contact u so often. Just wanna know if u are ok?? What did the doc say?? Me: I am okay. WOn't die yet. Dissapointed?? Also, I know that she is not in the country. Is she with you in London? H: Pls stop with me being disappointed. HOw would u know that she is not in the country?? Like I said, pls leave things as it is. I said I'll sort it out n I will. (okay...the hospital was in the vicinity of ow's house...and my mom actually drove me pass her house. Saw that her car was there...and my mom said that it was there on Monday too. If she's in the country, she would be at work, and her car won't be at home....So, Yes, we ASSumed that she is with H) Me: All I am asking is IF she is with you. She is with you, right? Please don't monkey with the answer. H: What is your problem?? I said many times already...just let it be and i'll sort it out!!! If you want this to work, let me do it as i see fit. Pls... This idiot can't even answer such a simple question..which really gives me the impression that she IS with him. H tried to call many times. I didn't want to answer his calls. Cut him off. Here are some of his texts (have omitted my own).. H: don't wanna answer then fine...You just can't leave it alone. Whateve i say u won't believe anyway. All i am saying is...just let it be n i'll sort it out!!! H: up to you...but i'm gonna still try my best to make it work. up to u to believe or not. I'll contact u soon. H: I am not pushing blame to you. just leave it to me to sort things out. i know what i am doing... H: I am begging u to just stop n leave things as it is. I will sort it out. ANd I really don't understand what u are trying to achieve by talking to her. H: I am with the customer now and i really don't wanna go thru this. give me a break ok...I've already made up my mind so just bloody let me sort it out myself. Not helping when u r pushing me like this.... H: Whatever u say...I am already doing my part to rectify the issue. You will hear from me soon. Pls rest n take care. Spoke to the boys already just now. H: U go figure out which option i'll take. 1) I decide 2 go with her n leave u. U will talk to her in Jan and drag her down. I'll then louse u n her, or 2) I break it off with her and stay with u. Obviously I'll go 4 option 2 cos I'm actually cornered. So stop pushing me n let me do my part. Ok?? Me: Stop with this cornering sh*t!!! I deserve someone who deserves me. Just stop bothering me! H:I deserve u. U have been a good wife and mum. So let me rectify this ok?? WOn't bother u anymore till I resove this. Sill love u alot. (I stopped replying. Refused to answer any of his calls...I am going DARK DARK DARK!!) I was on the phone with a girlfriend, when I heard a message beeped on my mobile. It was H "tried calling house but engaged. Call u tmrw. Starting course again". I didn't reply. As I said, I am going DARK DARK DARK. I am not going to speak to him nor reply to his texts anymore. I am just soooooo fed-up with his games. I really don't want to participate anymore... Just soooo fed-up and tired!!! Not gonna fill-up those forms for the boys either. If he is d@mn serious to have the family over with him, he comes and do those stuff himself. I am dropping the rope. I am sooo tired that I seriously don't have the strength to hold onto the rope for him anymore. I am just going DARK DARK DARK.... *sigh*...
Okay..for my GAL... * Dinner tonight with the gals!! Gonna wear my plunging neckline dress....
Saturday.. * Yoga on Saturday. * Lunch at GF's house on Saturday * Dental appointment (not exactly a GAL but...)
Sunday * Put up Christmas Tree * A little boy's Birthday Party
Actually, I've been pampering myself yesterday too...After my discharge from the hospital, I went straight to a facial, and then a pedicure and manicure...
