Hi guys... haven't been posting as I've gone on o short break with my two boys....
Journalling.... Friday... was rather busy...last minute packing, and went to see good friend who had just given birth. Then went to the airport for flight to Phuket. Just before reaching the hotel, got a phone call from H and asked if we have arrived blah blah blah. When I looked at my phone, he did send me an earlier message to ask if we've arrived. Later, some text exchanges between us, and then he mentioned that the house was not taken after all, and he has confirmed it with his HR department, and that he has couriered the application forms for the boys' school in Country X. The next few days, we didn't really talk much. Just short exchanges when he called to talk to the boys.
Arrived home yesterday (Monday)... saw that the package with the application forms did come...as he mentioned. I texted "DHL package received. WOn't bother with the forms. Am soooo tired already". Not long later, H called. We talked and I started crying. At one point, H asked "Is your period here? Why are you like that?" Anyway, I told him that "you confirming the big house doesn't mean anything. You said that you were looking for a house 3 months ago...turns out that she was the one looking for the house. And so what if it's bigger than the one now? She could still move there, more rooms so that her sister, her brother, her mother, her father all could still go there and stay. Blah blah blah..." Frankly, I am sooo tired...Our few convos..(not in order) H: Okay, I won't call and talk to you about this. The next time I call, will be asking you to move. H: I will make things right. Just leave things as it is, and I will sort it out. Me: I have never felt so hopeless as now. H: I thought the worse is over?? Me: This is not me talking..as I am feeling sooo hopeless. My mentor says that I should ask you "We are at A and we want to go to B. I want it to be a straight line, and you probably want to go via a curly wurly line. How about you tell me your plan. I will just listen, not interupt, but I want to know it". H: That's a fair question. I will get back to you. Me: you've not thought about it? H: I have...just got to structure it to lay it out nicely for you. Me: That means you've not thought about it..blabh blah blah. H: (H started to get angry)...blah blah blah...I am talking nicely to you, and you are pushing and pushing and pushing.. Me: Why are you shouting at me? I don't want to talk to you anymore...blabh blah.. H: Blah blah blah.. Okay..this went on for abit..but we calmed down a bit and said our goodbyes.
This morning...no real proper contacts...except about our phone bills over IM.. *sigh* same ole same ole.. H IMed: Don't show too much of your boobs this Friday...they are still mine!!! (told him that I will be going out dinner with girlfriends this friday in my new plunging neckline dress) H: Promise me you won't talk to you boss yet about the job. H: Don't buy the phone (My phone is whacko and H wants to buy me a phone!!!)
What do you all think? I am so whacked up with my emotions that I can't think... I am trying to go dark but it's not really working. H has "promised" to not call and talk about the house and boys' schooling until things are sorted out...but we have continued to talk.... Perhaps this week will be better as H will be flying off to London tonight...
Should I actually fill up the application forms for the schools??? Or hold on until H has sorted out with ow? At the moment, he is still "involved" with ow... I am such a mess...
