Kismet, StrongNSassy, KDU - Thanks gals for checking up on me.
take some itching powder to sprinkle in her undies Give H a dose too, maybe he'll think he caught something from her Well, he'll probably think that he caught something from me!! At the rate that we were going on...
Yoyo have you taken steps to make sure that you and the boys are protected financially, esp, if H is going crazy spending $$ on ow Not really. So far, he has been sending the agreed $$ back for the boys each month. So I haven't actually pushed for anything concrete on paper. I do have a job, so would not be too bad. Will not be lavish lifestyle but don't think we'll starve. Plus my parents will definitely help out if it comes to that.
Oh what fun!! And now you have become the ow with your things there...gawd I love it!! I have to say that I did relish the feeling of cutting up her stuff!!! She had pairs of mandarin ducks (to symbolize "Couple Togetherness" in Feng Shui Terms) in the living room. I scratched out H's initials on one, and mine on the other....
but do you really think you love your H at the moment. Perhaps not at the moment. I do love him that I really don't want to see him digging a deeper and deeper hole..that's why I've said that I am calling ow....to put a stop to all this lavish spending on unnecessary junk. More of that later....
when you dropped the rope once before he was doing all the chasing, which is what makes me think he is still interested From my last post, after I sent the "What IF I call ow" email, we had a whole barrage of email exchanges. He took that as a threat.
H's Email I already said very clearly that I am gonna work things through...so don't screw it up. If you call her...it's all over for us and I will definately not be with you nor her. Let I said, you just have to screw things up when things are improving!!!!! I missed all of you yesterday...but after this mail, I am actually really angry with all the threats.
Then H called and ask "What's your problem??"
Next Email which followed I have time today and I'm gonna register the boys for the International School this afternoon.If you wanna screw this up by calling her...just go ahead.
My email to him started with me telling him that I am writing this as a friend, and as ow probably doesn not know that he is getting into huge debts by her lavish lifestyle otherwise she won't be doing it. And I didn't want him to get deeper into debt. One part, I said ..... If giving you a divorce, and me talking to her is the only way to get you straighten out, I will do it. I know there is NO MORE SAVING of this marriage. Besides, like you said, you will never be the same. And I am not sure if I want to live my life whereby my husband is constantly pinning for another woman. I know that I will be able to bring up the boys well. That you don’t have to worry. You don't have to be angry at me anymore. Like I said, I will sign the papers when we've separated two years. You get what you want, and you can be happy. I really wish you all the best. P/s I am not threatening. I just think that she needs to help you out.
H's email Listen to me...I'm not asking for a divorce.So just stop with this.Leave things as it is and I'll sort it out.
Me (Okay, seems a bit jumbled up, but there were times that we were both emailing at the same time) I don't want to hear about schools anymore. I don't want to hear any lies anymore.I don't want to be responsible for screwing up your life anymore.I think it is time for her to worry about you. I don't want to do it anymore.You take care.
H Are you at your desk now?? I wanna call you
H then calls. I didn't pick it up (not intentionally....was in the loo)...
Then he calls again... we talked and I told him that I didn't want him to come back to me because he didn't have a choice and that I forced him. And he said "you are saying one thing one time and another thing another time. I cannot rely on your mood swinging. Blah blah blah".
Sent an email to him You don’t have to rely on my mind-changing swings…You can keep this email for future reference. I give you my WORD that after two years separation, I will sign the papers.You can start the ticking clock from YESTERDAY, i.e. 21 Nov 2005.
H then emails me to get to IM. I don't. Then he calls and says "you are damn stupid! Can't you see that the fact that I am calling you means that I want you? blah blah blah... And keep your mouth shut about the job. Give it a week. Promise me you won't talk to your boss yet" (I told him that I was gonna tell my boss to forget about the job in Country X).
Then he emails First of all...thought you were gonna back date it to Sept??? On a serious note.....Every time I see you and the boys, I feel we will be back as a family again because i really do miss all of you. But, every time you see me, you get into one of those moods that will screw things up. Like I said in the last few mails, let it be and i'll sort things out. I may seem like I'm dragging my feet...but I'm not. I'm just trying to do the right thing at the right time. So, just leave it to me and i sort it out. Like you said before, you have all the time and not in a rush. So, why the sudden change??? Found your Italian Stallion??? Pls stop with the calling her bit. You can call her if I really ditch the family. But don;t do it now coz you will really screw things up.
Then later in the afternoon, I logged onto my IM. And H was there..and asked why I was offline the whole day.. Tells me that "he wants me and the boys" blah blah blah.. I told him roughly the same thing as in my emails. He told me to SHUT UP and let him sort things out. TOld me "Not messing with your head, but I am going to see a bigger house. IF boys and you go over, we would need a bigger house. " Blah blah blah...
I sent him an email in response to his earlier one Okay, to make you happy, I will back-date to 1st September 2005 I don’t want to screw things up anymore.
I don’t want to be responsible for your unhappiness, or your non-contentment of life. You told me on the 2nd of April, 2005 that you will end it with her. It’s been 8 ½ months already. If you call that NOT dragging your feet, I don’t know what is. Is the right thing really the “right” thing at all?
When is the right time?
Or after the right time, there is still always the “re-connection” time.
How sure are you that you are going to stick to it? Afterall, you’ve failed like 10 times before??? Sudden change because the faster we get this over and done with, the faster I can talk to her, The faster she will STOP her lavish spending, the faster you can repay your debts. I can’t help you to cover the hole, but I can help you to stop digging a deeper hole. Italian Stallion? I wish!! Perhaps this trip to Phuket, I will tell people that I am a single mother traveling with my two kids. If the stallions are interested, they will come… I need her to STOP spending like you PRINT money. I really don’t want you to go bankrupt or to commit suicide over the credit card debts.
Also, going on a CLEAN break would be easier to deal with. Yeah, will hurt like hell, but at least I can send the kids to a child psychologist, I can rebuild my life as a proper single independent mother. You deal with your life, I deal with mine.
On the other hand, jumping back to the marriage is like uncharterred waters. There is soooo many unknowns. So many issues
1) Are we going to sweep everything under the carpet, and pretend nothing has happened and be normal?
2) Are we going to a marriage counselor?
3) Are we going to sort out the underlying problems as to WHY you need to get your NEEDS fulfilled by a third party?
4) Are you confident that you can remain in the marriage and concentrate all your efforts required to rebuild the marriage?
5) Or it’s going to be a TRIAL reconciliation, and the first sign of disagreement (my “screw-ups” as you call it) you will bolt out of the door again? And you would say “At least, I’ve tried!”
6) How are we going to deal with the TRUST issues? Would you have the patience to EARN back the lost trust?
So, it’s not going to be easy…. In fact, it’s gonna be DAMN DAMN HARD!!!
H IMs "wow...your email is very long. Will read later. I've got to go and see the house now".
That's it. I know it's like the plot for a soap opera...but don't know what came over me. Overwhelmed with pent-up emotions? I really really don't want him to get into more financial [censored].... It's gone beyond me and him and our M. I don't know... perhaps the dropping the rope thing is true??
