OM doesn't even know she is meeting and talking to me... and i totally backslide... Blueman - Rather than focusing on the negatives, turn this around, i.e the part that OM doesn't about her contacts with you. If she is lying to OM, it sort of makes you the "OP" now. Once OM finds out (which you hope he does, not from you though), who knows, there may be tension in the air or even fist fights??!!??
you just need to follow your heart Kismet - Yes...am following my heart or rather instinct??!!?? I don't know...but I just know that I need to do some nudging... More about that later.
Journalling.. Monday: After my last post, I texted H "R u having dinner? I would be calling you in about 10 minutes for boys to talk to you." H replied "I will call you when I finish my dinner". So, H did call about half an hour later. He spoke to S8 and S5, and then spoke to me. We chatted a bit about where he had dinner, to who's paying and he said he was with his ex-coworkers (same company where he met OW) and I was teasing with "ahem, ahem..I wonder if WHO is there.." and he said "well, if you think that she is here. SHE IS NOT!".. went on a little bit more in a joking way... which one part he said "I know you won't. You are a patient wife" can't remember why he said that... Asked him again about this weekend, if boys were gonna get to see him, and he answered that he will let me know tmrw. After our convo ended, I sent H a text... Me: I call her? I know where she stays. XYZ Road, correct? I go and scream and rant in front of her house and announce to her neighbours. H: Please don't. I'll sort things out. If you wanna save our marraige...please don't. Me: You said that both women also you wouldn't want. Besides, if you are gonna destroy my family and boys. I will drag her down with whatever way I can. After all, what is there to lose? BTW, I am not threatening, just sharing my thoughts. So, don't get angry. I know you gonna say "what a bit@h!" Yes I am! Ha ha ha.. Nite Nite. Love, Wifey xxx (yes..I know that i am taunting him...)
Obviously, no reply from him. BUT had to send him another text about something more serious. Me: Oh..on a more serious note. I need to know the procedures for medical and dental claims from your company. Undergoing dental treatment that will costs $$$ plus S5 need to see an ENT. H: Ok. Will find out when I get back to Country X.
Next Day, Tuesday: Got a text from H at 7.00 AM. The text is too X-rated to post it here.... Basically, he implied that I should go to Country X this weekend for . About 20 minutes after the text, my phone rang. It was H... he asked if I've read the text... Me: No. What did it say? H: well, to say that we are to go on our separate ways... blah blah blah Me: Is it? Oh..okay (yawning and all). S8 is here. H: Ok. I speak to S8. You go read your text. H talks to S8 and I went to "pretend" to read my text. Me: I guessed I am coming? H: Why? Are you lazy? Me: No..afraid that there won't be flights. H: I'm sure there are... blah blah blah ..you come alone? Me: No. Think I must bring the boys. They want to see you ..blah blah blah. H: How are we going to [censored][censored] if the boys are here? Me: We can wait till they are in bed. Besides, it'll be mid-Dec before they get to see you. They really miss you. S5 was crying last night and said that he knows that you hate him because you ran away. H: *sigh* Tell him I love him. Me: You need to assure him whenever you call. So, I have to bring them along. WHy don't you go and purchase the rackets so that you can play with S8 as you promised? H: Okay...blah blah blah.. So this convo went on for a bit...
Got into work, and proceeded to book the tickets online, and sent him a short text informing him that I've bought the airline tickets. Three hours later, I got a text from H "just fantasized [censored][censored][censored]" I replied. We were texting to-and-fro which resulted in another three raunchy texts from H ...
So basically, I don't know about the emotional connection between H and I...somehow, think the connection between us centers around s@x. Is it good or bad? Not so bad, I think...since I am enjoying it too...Oh well, as long as H and I are still having some kind of connection, and he is "confused"....it is better than he is very ADAMANT of going to OW, right?
Oh..am having a few text exchanges with H now. H: First we talk, then we f**k??? Or the other way round? Me: Other way round...Or maybe talk first also ok. Not much to talk, right? H: There's a few things we need to settle... Me: Like? Give a few hints..so that I won't get a heart attack... H: We need to come to some resolution. I'm gonna die and crack if we don't resolve this. Me: I told you already. I won't budge from my position. U said u will sort it out urself. I am sure u don't want my help!! H: U won't budge and i won't budge...so how??? Deadlocked!! Me: U want honest opinion? Even if u decide to BE with her. Things will not change with us. U will still fantasize about me. We will still be in contact for d boys etc etc. And u will still be in a mess. Honestly, don't see a way out for u other than breaking up with her.
to post it here.... Basically, he implied that I should go to Country X this weekend for 
