Well, I'm not so much a wise DBer, but I do agree your H is trying to save his pride by saying you "forced" him back or gave him no choice. My feeling is he wants to come back, but doesn't want to go through the mess of breaking it off with OW. And from what you have said, it will be a mess - she will make sure of it.
Ignore totally what he said about "making" the choice. He told you the choice was made. If he wants to put this on you, then you just act like you absolutely know he will do the right thing and return to his family. Keep going with what he told you, and keep acting like you and he are working toward rebuilding your R.
But no more negative comments...like the "i know you hate me" thing. I used to make some of those, try to pull them off as half joking, but all I was doing was looking for reassurance from him "oh, no, that's not how I feel". Either I didn't get the reassurance, which was bad, or I did, but I appeared weak and needy. You are strong and desired by many, not weak and needy!
