Journalling...
Sunday PM - Had dinner with MIL, and we had a long talk. She was very supportive in whatever decision that I take. She even said that I should ask H for money. Make sure he gives me blah blah blah. There was also a rumour that H has another OW in Country X. I have to admit that at first, I was hyper-ventilating...later, I calmed down and thought to myself..1) I can't control that 2) if that is true, the original OW cannot be THAT important. My MIL heard it from my SIL which in turn heard it from H's ex-coworker. Anyway, after thinking a little bit more (okay, analysing?? ) I doubt about the OW2, H did tell me about this lady and that she took him around Country X when he moved there, they had dinner. H also told me that she's quite pretty blah blah. SO, I think it's just that ppl hear bits and pieces and blow things out of proportion. So, after I've calmed down and breath I am still gonna ACT AS-IF that all is OK. Still gonna be cheerful and upbeat. Why want to accuse him of something else and incur the wrath?? No point listening to HEARSAY and ASSuming the worst... (Oh...this ex-coworker also told my SIL that my H is very very serious with the OW, and my H is already separated from me and ready to D me to marry her....oh well...let's just see...)

Monday AM
Got a text from H at the ungodly hour of 2.00 AM. Telling me that he has just arrived in Country Y and will be there for a day. And I am to contact him on his other phone, as his normal phone is kaput. At 7.40 am, H called me. I answered very cheerfully,
Me: How come you are up so early?
H: No, it's not early..it's already 7.40 am
Me: But you got in late last night, right? How come you didn't sleep longer?
H: I haven't even slept. Anyway, I may come back either later today or tmrw to do some stuff.
Me: Okay..but I won't be around though. I've got to drive to my work site tmrw morning.
H: Driving? ALone?
Me: Yeah
H: How come?
Me: New directive. No more flying...
H: Can't you get someone to go with you?
Me: Don't think so.
H: And you are coming back when?
Me: Thurs or Friday.
H: Not at night, I hope.
Me: Don't think so. I would be afraid to drive at night too.
H: Anyway, when are you guys going to Phuket?
Me: Ermm.. 25th to the 28th.
H: Okay. I'll call you later.
Me: Okay. Bye.
So, all in all, I was cheerful and "normal". I am glad that I didn't have the 'rumour stuff' trickle down to my moods this morning. H was also very upbeat in our tele-convo.
I have to continue to ACT AS-IF and live in the present and on a minute-by-minute basis and not let my mind wander to the past nor the future...

When boys were ready, S8 called his phone. No answer. SO, I left him a text "Nothing...Boys just wanted to talk to you". S8 and S5 are starting to really feel that something is funny...with the father not around.... But they just can't really pin-point it. My friend said that S8 is showing some aggresive behaviour in school. And S5 made a comment the other day "my daddy don't love his wife and his children, that is why he went far away". I had to assure him that his daddy loves him alot and just had to be away for work. *sigh* Just have to monitor my boys..

So, let's see....Gotta get back to work.

One Day at a TIME!!!