Dear Kim, Thanks. I hear you. I know that I seem like "pursuing" but not to the great extent that you have in mind. Other than the initial 3 days after I came back from Country X, I WAS bugging him with texts of staying with him at the hotel. But after his text of "knowing that he'll do the right thing", I've tapered off my texts, and just confined to the daily updates on the boys.(Adhering to the LIGHT on the boys, with little GREY bits on myself).

he will answer you but is not initiating like he did before.
H left for America for a work trip last Friday, and is still there. Roaming calls are pretty expensive. So, it is rather difficult to have long convos. He's also with a client (I believe.. think OW is busy with some budget meeting at this time of the year..)

don't be so available.
Don't think this is that applicable at the moment. Our time difference is like 14 - 16 hours (since he is jetting across from the west to east and back to west coast of the states) and the only time is a small time frame whereby the boys are up and about, and when H is not with his client. Also, I am off-work for one week (long Muslim holidays) and is "chained" to the boys, so, he does know that even if I am OUT, I will most probably be with the boys...so NO threat there anyway.

I bet you are not having phone s@x anymore
Had the real thing last Thursday before he left for the States .. plus don't think I would be able to enjoy any phone s@x when my mind is thinking about the $$$ on the bills. LOL

accepting of OW and waiting for him, I don't think that is healthy
Don't worry about this...
1) If he is scr@wing OW, whether I like it or not, he is going to do it. So, I am not going to throw tantrums about this and PUSH him away to OW. I also feel that at this moment, I cannot "draw the line" about OW. So, I am going to ACT AS-IF that there is NO OW. and go about like business-as-usual.
2) No, I am not "waiting" although it may seem like it. As H is living in a different country, it makes it easier. I still get together with friends (ours,mine etc), have a job, go pamper myself blah blah blah...
3) Healthy? I don't feel it being un-healthy at the moment. It's a test of patience between OW and I. As long as H and I have consistent good contact, I know she will start pestering him about a D (and I know H is still very unsure about everything) ...(see deb's post)

KDU - I have thought it over. And I think I need to take this route. I will continue to do this till after H comes back for his trip, for at least another week and see how it goes. Besides, alot of our phone calls revolve around convo about the kids anyway.... Thanks for your thoughts!