Quote: I'm dealing with depression now. Half the time I'm okay and then out of nowhere it hits me hard. I'm taking my meds but I don't think they've kicked in yet. One day at a time. One day at a time...
Give it time. You are right to say one day at a time. I have been on meds for depression for over 2 years now. They do help. I think I am ready to reduce my dosage though. I can tell a big difference when I take them. Hang in there!!!!
Well last night was just awful. XH was a class A @ss. And I let him have it. I told him this was his choice and now he had to deal with it. I told him we needed to sell the house and soon as possible and that he needed to move as far away from me as possible. I also slept on the couch. What started all this? He was pissed off that I was on the internet chatting with my friends. He doesn't want to be a part of my life but he damn sure wants to control it. I've had it with him. Last night I saw just how ugly he's really become, inside and out. I love him, but not like I once did. Not like I did when all this started. I want out. I want to be on my own. I want to start MY life.
So everyone please do me a favor, please pray that we find a buyer for this house as soon as possible. The sooner we sell the sooner I can buy the townhouse and finally have an end to this nightmare!
Tough night for you, sorry to hear it. I doubt this will help, but don't you love the man he used to be and not the man he is now? Maybe that can help you move forward.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
WCW - I've actually been doing a lot of thinking about that lately. It's been a very long time, two years at least but I think more than that, since he was that man I fell in love with. Every now and then he'll let me see a tiny bit of him, but mostly not. I would say that we've spent at least half of the time we've been together unhappy. The last three years have been really hard. Don't get me wrong, part of me will always love him, it's just different now. The man I feel in love with would never do the things that XH does now. And I'm sure there is plenty that has gone on that I don't even know about. And god willing, never will.
I will definately pray for you to sell your house quickly. If you want, I have some "spells" to say that are supposed to help sell your house. Also, just heard on another post, that something to help sell a house - bury a statue of St. Joseph in the yard (???). I'm willing to try anything sell mine.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Let me know if there is anything I can do. I am working on that stuff you asked about. I should have something for you tomorrow. This way you can get started. Good luck with it.
Well he appologized last night for the night before. We had a long talk about things. We've decided to tell the girls this weekend. I'm really not looking forward to it.
He's gotten a job offer. A good one. In California. Good pay and good benefits. Doing exactly what he wants to be doing. They want him to come out there next Wednesday to discuss the details. They want him to start December 1st.
It's all happening so fast. My mind is having a hard time taking it all in. I kept crying over every little thing last night. I was horrible. I'm honestly not sure why I was upset. Too many reasons I think. It felt like someone had died. I guess I'm mourning the death of what was left of our relationship.
I know this is what I want. This is want I need. It just doesn't make it any easier to go through. I do love him. I always will. I just know it can't be rigth now. If ever.
Quote: I just know it can't be rigth now. If ever.
I think the key words here are "if ever". If you are like me, no matter how bad it gets or how much it feels right to move on, there is at least a kernel of hope that someday both of you will have reached the point where you can have a healthy long-lasting relationship. A move across the country to an ideal job is certainly a major step in slamming the door on a future together, even if it was only a slim hope to start with. We are all here in this area because we have some hope that somehow, some way, some day, things will work out between our XS and us. I would argue that even many of those on "surviving the big D" haven't completely let go, they just want to. This is a sudden blow to that hope you had. I'm sorry you have to face this. I'm glad though that you have a positive outlook and that your XH and you can handle this as adults and let go of the bitterness.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
