Hope, I was just checking in on you to see how your weekend was. Any progress? Hope it wasn't too upsetting or too stressful for you.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Hey everyone. Sorry to worry you all. I'm okay. The kids got me sick and I've been doing very little other than sleeping. Finally getting over it. Blah!
XH had a "freak out" Sunday night when he found my account on myspace. Brought up every hurtful thing he could. Told me we were putting the house on the market the next day and the he couldn't wait to be as far away as possible from me. That I was a lying b*tch. I tried not to fight with him about it but it was 1:30 am and I was sick so I didn't have much will power in me.
The next morning we talked. He said he was sorry. I have no idea. I love him. God knows I do, but there's nothing else I can do to fix this. We're just playing this game that I guess we've always played. I got towards him, he pulls away, then I pull away and he comes back until I start to come back and it scares him then he pulls away again. Over and over. I guess what they say about love isn't always enough is true...
Sorry to hear that you are feeling bad. I hope you get well soon. I'm not sure that a little blow up for each of you now and then is all that bad a thing. Dis-agreements are going to happen no matter who it is between. After all everyone is different and each has a way of looking and handling things in their own way it's just comes down to the way we deal with it.
I can completely understand the game of getting close and then withdrawing. To me, it's just a sign of indecisivness. I am in the midst of the same situation. I think that I have just settled into the attitude that I will see what tomorrow will bring. Sooner or later it will be one way or another for all of us. There will be commitment or non commitment.
Get well Soon
ABM
I'm not sure I'm living better, but I am living different.
My Sitch
Hi Hope. Sorry to hear that you and the kids are/were sick. Hope everyone feels better soon. Get some Airborne. It's good stuff that actually works. It is a tablet you put in water. It was invented by a teacher who didn't want to get sick from her students. You can take this stuff when you feel sick or even before you go to crowded places, etc. It prevents sickness and can cut sickness in half. It works. Last year it cut my flu down to 3 days!
Anyway - sorry to hear of the blow out at 1 am. Trying to find a happy note - it pissed him off, which shows there is some sort of feeling/emotion that he last for you.
Just trying to stay positive. Hang in there
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Oh Hope, I feel what you feel. It's like an oscillating fan, when the wind blows towards them (us) they don't like it but when the fan turns away they feel safe to come towards it again. But then we swing back and start blowing their direction again, and they turn away........
It's not fun, we don't like it. For me, after the last few weeks, I have come to realize that the direction my M takes is mostly up to me and not H. You have decided your direction too, and are starting to look forward to what your new life can be. Stay strong, and stay open to change. I don't think you're done yet.
he found my account on myspace Do you mean this DB site?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Quote: he found my account on myspace Do you mean this DB site?
No, it's another web site, www.myspace.com, that I use to talk to and hang out with my friends on. And these are people that both XH and I know. Real people, not just people I've met on the internet. I'm not flirting with anyone or doing anything wrong, and he even told me I could. Guess he was okay with it until I did it? Typical of him. No, if he had found this site I think he'd lose it in a whole new way!
Update... Not much really. XH didn't get home until late so I didn't see him much yesterday. He did spend the whole night cuddled up with me, even tried to get something started. Again, I just do not get this but whatever.
I'm dealing with depression now. Half the time I'm okay and then out of nowhere it hits me hard. I'm taking my meds but I don't think they've kicked in yet. One day at a time. One day at a time...
