I think the worry about contact is more that it just hurts. There are so many things I'd love to talk to him about, share with him - and I know he would want me to talk to him like that since he wants to be friends - it's just so uncomfortable to me. I should just give it a try - would it help me get over (loss of my husband)him...or would it make me want to talk to/be around him more, which wouldn't be a good thing?
Hey - there's progress there, tho it probably doesn't look like it - I'm not worried about HIM and his reactions, I'm worried about ME - that's good, right?
Let's pop into my pity party for a moment, shall we?: So I decided yesterday that since I'm not concentrating when I work at home on my projects I should go into the office and work, despite the time and money expense it takes for my commute into New York City these days. And yesterday I actually had a very productive day in the office - was quite surprised, actually - spent time last night talking with my friend who'd been urging me to try that and was looking forward to a productive week....because I really didn't think the transit workers would actually go on strike....
But they did. Our office is working at home until the strike's over.
Exactly what did I do to piss the universe off so much?
Okay, pity party over. I am thankful for so much - just had to laugh/cry about that for a minute.
P.S. My dogwalker tells me today that he's not going out of town after all and will take care of the dog. So now I need to call XH and tell him. Maybe I'll try that "friendly conversation" thing instead of the awkward stuttering....
