I see very sizable growth in you from your prior posts to the current one. Growth doesn't equal detaching. That is good too, for the current status of your sitch, but instead, I'm talking about your selfcare, self-reliance. I was given Innner Bonding to read by my therapist, and it helped me to carry the self-care work to a deeper level, and helped me to drop the old "shoulds, oughts, musts" that involved trying to get my XW to behave in a loving way.
The reality is that your H may or may not come back. But you're ability take care of yourself serves 2 purposes: 1) It helps you to get on with your life in a healthy manner, and 2) It will demonstrate to your H the quality of woman that you are.
In terms of your work situation, if it's not cutting it for you, isn't this time to search for something better (closer, better pay, hours, etc...)?
