Our EC has been rock solid the last week and a half or so. Much of it has been my doing, which I am proud to report. So often I have this annoying tendency to sit around and wait for him to come to me--still resentment, I suppose, from all the years when he didn't. Almost as if I'm thinking that he's got to prove something to me.
Anyway, the EC is strong. The sex, however, wasn't really there. There were many late nights in which we stayed up talking--once til midnight!--and enjoying each other's company. Sex started to drop off the radar and yet the EC stayed strong. I was beginning to despair, thinking that we'll never get the sex and the EC at the same time..that we just can't get our act together. Then, a few days ago, we started flirting with each other. Even groping and kissing-- in broad daylight. It was so much fun. I was surprised that this took a big load off the She's Gotta Have It drill. I actually felt content that night in bed. Don't get me wrong, with me abstaining from mb, it wouldn't stay like this for long. But it was nice to share something sexual with him..to seem like we were on the same page for once..and then drift off peacefully to sleep.
Since then, I have been sure to deflect his blame-taking tendency (We should have ML more last week; it was my fault) and attempt to establish some peace and ease between us, along with flirting and touching and.........
We still have a problem with incorporating the EC and the hot sex but I'm thinking that if I can keep my mouth shut, most of this will resolve on its own. Actually, I doubt it resolves on its own but if my yap is shut, it allows H a chance to take action of his own, that is not defensive in nature. *That* seems to be where the progress happens for the both of us.
Time for story hour; gotta run!
P.S. Chromo, we took the D's to their first lesson of the new Extracurricular activities last night and it was splendid! H was, as usual, the only dad present but he loved it. Soooo cute. Thanks for the kick in the right direction.
