The focus on the experience for yourself is the problem. Sex is not supposed to be about getting your rocks off, rather it is supposed to be a reflection of the life giving nature of God's love, and a way to celebrate the relationship between yourselves AND God. The Church paints a rather narrow path to follow in God's footsteps. It is your choice whether to follow or not, but if you are to follow you can't take the rules ala-carte, picking only the ones which you like. Yes, it is a hard path to follow at times, and I have not done well staying on that path myself.
