MrsNOP, I don't know if this is what you intended or not, but suggestion you made would result in me having the frequency I desire. He would rather just give it up than be required to bring any intensity to the encounters. I have never had much of a complaint (barring pregnancy, of course) about the frequency because he was like this...willing to do it more if it meant that he was off the hook in between times, wrt sexual behavior. Almost like he was saying, I don't have to act sexual now cause, jeez, we just did it last night. Kwim?
Anyway, I think that is a sound suggestion.
I still have the problem of getting him to fully buy into ANYTHING we jointly decide. He says a lot of things but when the rubber hits the road, he has a tendency to want to slack off and, what's worse, he wants me to give him my blessing to do so. For example, he'll say "I'm just so tired from the presentation and then Halloween and the baby's cold, how about tomorrow night?" to which I will usually reply "ok". But then tomorrow comes and nothing. Next night he's begging off again. (this really happened last week so I'm not exaggerating)
It's like he simultaneously takes it seriously, and blows me off.
There needs to be someone in the R who's willing to assume the role of the Sex Boss. lol The one who sorta takes the lead and makes things happen. We both are standing back, waiting for the other to do this. I don't want to do it because it makes me feel like a freak of nature, to quote Cemar, and he doesn't want to do it because he feels uncomfortable.
BUT, having said that, I really have no problems making suggestions about our sex life. It's the role of Enforcer that I don't really care for. That's where things tend to go awry. Without an Enforcer, the plan just trails off like a wisp of smoke and it goes in the pile of Things We Tried.
I suppose I need to either get ok with the Enforcer role or get ok with the status quo, eh.
