Well, folks, all I can say is that these are beliefs that I have decided to follow. Not at my H's suggestion (he knew nothing about it, nor I his decision to stop), or the Church's suggestion, but my own. I believe it is the right thing to do.
Around the time that I stopped this, I approached H and delicately brought up the subject. I explained that if I were to do this, I would need his help. I couldn't 'take the edge off' by myself anymore. He urgently told me that he is here for me and that he wanted me to do this and would do everything in his power to make sure that I am not tempted. To be blunt, this has not happened. To be honest, it is an awful burden for ONE person to carry, let alone to carry it for your spouse as well, so I'm not necessarily bashing him.
Chrissy, we don't use any form of BC. The Church says that sex should be both unitive (that is, helps them bond) and procreative. That does NOT mean that you have to keep on havin babies--it just means that you cannot do anything to *prevent* conception either. So if you are fertile, you just don't have sex. Now, the good news, lol. I am infertile so I can have sex whenever and however I want and not get pg. (of course, I just jinxed myself by saying that!)
Lil, I get what you are saying but, again, it's just against my beliefs. I don't know what you want me to say to that. Sure, as an ex-Catholic, you know many things about the Church, but really what does that matter? I have decided to follow this rule, when many Catholics don't. That doesn't mean I suffer from scrupulosity--as my husband's wife I know quite well what scrupulosity looks and acts like. Having said that, I am now remembering that my H many months (years?) ago, said that he'd like to incorporate a hj, for me, into the repertoire when he was feeling like he couldn't do it. I never took him up on this offer (not that he ever tried, you understand) because I felt that it was wrong. I never told him that, again, the situation never came up.
Cobra, I didn't find your post useful at all. I've already said that this is what I believe so what good does it do to tell me to not believe it?
Blackie, I liked your suggestions!! Furthermore, I think H would like them!!
Any ideas on how I can get him to actually DO it, though? He is great about having these lil epiphanies and going thru a brief change and then he sinks right back into familiar behavior. Ideas please.
It was a lackluster weekend, as far as sex is concerned. H fell asleep on me the last..oh, say, 8 days straight. It is getting discouraging.
I am not only losing my sexual desire for him, but I have NO ec with him right now either. We are operating as best friends who like to do projects together and sit around and play with the kids. I cannot keep an EC going in the absence of sex. Period. Call me weird, call me stubborn, call me at 867-5309, oh wait that's Jenny. (where is she anyhoo) There is a definite awkwardness between us, as I am working on a brand new batch of resentment and he is going around kicking himself in the ass for falling asleep on me all the time.
