Quote: What is the Bible's stance on extreme physical abuse in a relationship? Is that grounds for a divorce?
Physical abuse is a crime. Said criminals should have the opportunity to get acquainted with the justice system.
Let me note here that I know that women can also be abusers. I don't believe in having double-standards judicially. The difference between male and female abuse is primarily the difference in foot-pounds of force. The intent is the same.
I cringe when I read and/or hear of pastors (or Christians in general) encouraging abused spouses to submit to their abusive husbands. In the more fundamentalist sects, the submission of women is expected and often demanded. The difficulty with that is while the "wives should submit to their husbands" is touted the reciprocal "husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the Church" is much less often pushed.
The Bible doesn't address every possible human interaction. At some point one sometimes must weigh the options and with humility rather than hubris, make choices that might not line up fully with strict interpretations.
I think most of us recognize that lying and stealing are discouraged Biblically. But the Europeans who hid Jews, stole food rations, and lied through their teeth - most people today would find that not just acceptable, but admirable. I read a book by Corrie ten Boom in regards to this. Their family hid Jewish people in their home, they lied constantly, defrauded the rationing dept., stole food whenever they could, broke laws left and right. After WWII was over, some Christians confronted her about the lying and stealing. I loved her response - she didn't defend it or justify it or attack them over their legalistic righteousness, she would just express hope that God would deal with her with mercy.
