KDU, Thank you so much for your reply and the encouraging words. It just floors me every time I hear of another long term affair and a marriage trying to heal from it. I hope that I am blessed as you are. Right now H dosen't have a clue what he wants. He is "unhappy with evey aspect of his life and feels as if he has wasted 50 years". Most of that unhappiness, of course, he blames on me. I have finally reached the point that he dosen't make me feel so insecure and guitly as he once did. I am trying to get better at the dbing LRT method. I rarely call H but do not avoid his calls. I'm not sure how far to take it. I am staying extremly busy doing anything. I have even resorted to cleaning closets! At least it is constructive. Again, thank you so very much for your encouragement. It turly does help to know that you are working through the process with success. I believe that when an affair is discovered our self esteem and faith in ourselves is icredibly damaged. Dbing seems to help brigh us out of that and help us realise that we are worthwile people and deserve to be treated that way. I hope you have much more success. Please keep me posted. I am interested and am praying for you. SallyG
