Can Long-Term affairs be over come?

[spitfire23]

Hi Sally G,
I can't sleep so I thought I would reply to your latest post. My husband is pretty much MIA right now. I have no idea where he is or what he is doing. Surprisingly, it doesn't really bother me too much. Just for clarification.....I didn't kick my H out. He left on his own and it was totally his decision. He just doesn't want anybody to know. Is it me or is that really wierd? You would think that if someone was making such a major life changing decision they would be ok with it and not want to hide the fact?? He wants to be with OW, he just doesn't want anyone from "this life" to know she exists/has existed for 13+ years. Go figure. If he was so ok with his decision shouldn't he be shouting it from the rooftops?
I try to take the high road with the kids. They are pretty much getting on with their lives. I don't have to really say anything negative about H. The stuff that comes out of their mouths is pretty intense. My oldest son told me that dad has the same mental disorder that Ted Bundy had. Of course, that got my attention. I calmly asked him,"What is that, Honey?" He said it's called Moral Subjectivism. It is where people alter their morals to justify their behavior." Whoa. That set me back a few paces. And son's closing comment was,"Only difference is that Ted Bundy was a lot smarter than Dad," Yikes!! I tried to assure him that his father was not out slashing up women and that even Ted Bundy got caught in the end. But.... you can kind of get the idea of the anger I am dealing with in these young men. I love my sons and have told them from the start of all this that I hope they can work this all out with their dad. I would like them to have some kind of a relationship in the future, for their sakes, not his. I just know that I can't fix this. It is out of my hands.
I hear what you are saying about how reality sets in when H spends time with OW. I have heard that and read that over and over again. I guess that theory has merit. Just have to wait and see. Maybe, I mean. I don't think I really care. I think I'm done.
I'll check back again. Take care and hang in there. You're at an entirely different place than I am. I can tell by your posts. Hopefully, your H will come to his senses.

Spitfire23