Spitfire23, Oh my gosh I could have written your post. I cannot believe the similarities that we share. My H has also been living 2 lives. He is now trying to be kind and spend time with me, at least on the weekends. I don't hear much from him during the week, which is fine. My 14 year old daughter feels much like your boys and my 27 year old son is not speaking with his father. I do hope that they will reconcile at some point. H is a decent person and does love his children. Even with all of his baggage he is still the only father they have. Let's make a pact to never say anything negative about our H's to our kids!
I believe you are doing the right thing. I too, kicked my H out and it was only then that I believe he has begun to think about all that he will be giving up. I'm not certain of that but that is what he seems to be trying to make me believe. He has always played so many games with me that trust will be extremly difficult to re-establish. Your H may come to realize what he is giving up as well. Spending time with OW in "real life" may convince them both that the grass is really not greener on the other side. The question will be at that point whether or not WE want them back!
Give your boys a hug... sons always look after Mama!
