Hi Spitfire23, I'm glad to know you although I wish it were under different circumstances. You ask if anyone had answered the original question about surviving a LTA. No. As more time goes by I wonder if the reason is that there is no one here that has survived it. I realise that the percentage of survival is very low. I remain hopeful.
Sometimes it is hard to read about so much pain. I cannot imagine how you must have felt learning that your H had been cheating throughout your M. Like you I am beginning to question my desire to stay in this marriage as much as I believe he is. Does your H want to reconcile and work on the M? I guess that's what I'm trying so hard to wait for. My H will have to be the one to instigate reconciliation and seek help without me pushing him to it. That seems to be the only chance as we have tried the status Quo too long. I'm hoping the DBing will help get him there. I am just getting into Michelles book and encourage you to order it. It has been helpful and although I do fall off the DBing wagon from time to time, I find it helps me focus on methods for reconciliation and also control my emotional out bursts much better. I think you will find much wisdom here and some of the finest people around. There is pain and hurt here, but our sith's have maybe humbled each of us and enabled empathy and compassion to become part of us, and that is the silver linning behind this dark cloud. Like it or not we will grow from this experience.
When I read your thread I felt like I was looking in a mirror. How in the world have we survived in this environment for so long? If you have indeed given up on yur M, I think the principals here can only help you in your future.
Sometimes I wonder how my children have grown into the remarkably happy, balanced and focused people that they have become. For so many years I have been so emotionally drained from H's choices and actions, until there seemed so little left of me for any one or any thing else. I still want my M to work and still have faith that a loving R can result from all this. Some days I am more positive that others.
Well, I guess I have wandered all over the place enough for now. Take care of yourself, keep smiling and keep in touch.
