I am sorry for your situation. I don't know how women react to a long-term affair, but when I found out about my WS and her 12-year affair, I felt as if I had been kicked in the gut, then felt as if the world had completely changed and I didn't recognize anything or anyone in it. My WS has said she wants to keep our marriage going, has had no more contact with the OM (she says), we are living together, have not told anyone outside of our church's minister and a therapist we are going to see. It has been 7 months and sometimes I almost forget about the affair and then something happens to bring it up again and I wonder if I could believe anything she says. So, every situation is different, but I understand there are similarities in how the betrayed spouse reacts to the news. If you haven't tried them yet, some other good books are Spring, "After the Affair"; Glass, "Not Just Friends", and Hendrix "How to Get the Love you Want." I don't have any answers, and I don't find the advice from Michele helpful, because our situation does not mirror the symdromes she describes in her writings, but the writing and journaling that I do here is helpful to clear my mind. I hope this was helpful.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
