Let me give you some background as briefly as possible. • 30-year marriage, 2 children B27 & G14. • H and I in 2nd separation that is 3 weeks old • 1st separation 2 years ago and lasted 2 months • H moved back in while I was out of town (If WWS moves back in, this action negates an affair in our states divorce laws) • He is pushing me to sell our house and go back to work. I feel like he is tying to set me up for divorce in his favor) • H has had a R with OW on and off for 10 years. • OW lives in another city where we use to live-150 miles away, and use to be H’s paralegal when we lived there up until 5 years ago. • H travels a great deal with business (yeah right). More and more in past year. • OW divorced her H 1.5 years ago and has really been pulling. • A has been going on 3 years now to best of my knowledge and H has continually denied it (He is an attorney and knows how to play the game). • Finally admitted it 3 weeks ago after I found out he had taken OW and her 2 kids to Major league baseball playoff game. I ask him to move out and make a decision, as I was no longer willing to live under such conditions.
I have just recently discovered this web site, spent many hours reading various threads, and have had one consultation by phone, which was wonderful. I am waiting on Michelle’s books that I ordered a few days ago. Is there anyone out there that has been involved with such a long-term affair that can offer any hope at all? I don’t know that I can ever trust this man again unless he and I both make some drastic changes. I just wonder if people can change that much. I suppose that I would have to view this OW as an ex-wife if we ever did get back together. H calls every few days and we have had dinner twice. He ask me today to have dinner tomorrow night and watch our favorite college team play football on Saturday. (A mutual love of both of ours). It is so hard to be pleasant and forgiving when I am around him as all the lies and deceit come crashing in. Sounds like a major MLC, and I am sure it is. He is terrified of growing old at 50. Although he has had plenty of opportunity to leave in the past several years, he chooses not to. I suppose I have enabled him to have his cake and eat it too. I am not happy being part of this triangle and feel very used. Kicking him out of the house is the first aggressive action I have taken. I just do not know if I have a chance against this woman that is 17 years our junior. Any advice out there?
