Sounds like time to whip up a batch of those Prozac brownies for him, eh, girlfriend?
Seriously, though - this is all depression stuff. The anger, irritability, blaming others - all pretty standard. And he's trying to desperately avoid the negative voices in his head - the ones that remind him that he's not successful enough to support his child on his freelance work, that he's a failure as a real estate mogul because he couldn't make money on his renovation, that becoming a responsible adult means he'll never be "free" again, that he's not a good boyfriend or husband.
The most convenient way to escape those negative voices is to try to shift the blame - to turn those things around into "it's J's fault I have to give up my freelance work, I would have been successful otherwise", "my renovation would have made money if I hadn't been distracted by having this baby", "if it weren't for J and the baby, I'd be living a fascinating intellectual life".
So - back to some basics. How are you doing on speaking his quality time love language (I know, this sounds ridiculous to ask this of a new mother, but you have to at least try!). How are you doing on validating his fears and giving him positive affirmations for all he's doing? How are you doing on demonstrating your ability to live frugally within his income? How are you doing on creating a warm, inviting home scene when he comes home from work at night?
And - can you get him to take fish oil capsules (or feed him salmon twice a week), a multivitamin, use a light box (or buy him an "artificial dawn" sleep alarm), get regular exercise - all things that help depression? Of course, you might have to sneak these in on him (gosh - Prozac brownies WOULD be easier, wouldn't they? Sigh).
