The Art of Sexual Ecstasy - Anand

[chromosphere]

"It was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that he does find me attractive but he doesn't show it."

A perfect way of stating the crucial issue for I'll bet most people here. I gotta remember that logic doesn't work.

"I'm not worried about sugar-coating anymore. Seems to work better for us."

I'm not there yet, but I hope to be at some point. Complete honesty can actually be a huge weight off your shoulder, kwim?

[TSinAtlanta]

I don't think your relationship will survive, based on your comments regarding your wife's 12 year affair.

I do believe that you BOTH can make a choice to leave the past behind, fix the mistakes and move on. From your post, it appears that you have taken steps toward that end. It will still entail much hard work for both of you, and the outcome is uncertain.

Twelve years of bonding is a long time, and it will take your wife a very long time to get over the loss, IF she is indeed able to maintain no contact. During that time of mourning, your relationship suffers.

Statistically, entangled affairs are the most difficult to recover from. The longer they last, the longer and more difficult the recovery. Many experts believe that it takes one to two months per year of entanglement for just the attachment to the other person to abate. If that is true, you have a long way to go.

Hey, NOPkins, it's been 12 months since my last post. I just wanted to let you know that our relationship has survived, we are doing well, we talk about our wants and needs all the time, my wife does not have any hesitation to bring up a thing that is causing problems, and is very open about her fears (watching her children grow up and leave home, worries about health - eyesight, etc., worries at work, family stresses). We also enjoy many things together, singing, travel, sex (!), parties with friends, cooking. I just wanted to let you know that you don't know everything; that I would be curious to know where you got your expertise on relationships from. Are you a professional in the area, or culling your wisdom from your own personal experience? Not trying to be obnoxious, or maybe so, but seems there are a few self-appointed experts on the board.

[Optimus]

TSinAltanta,

Congratulations that your R is back on track, I clicked on you alias name and looked at your posts, but do not see the point at which you R got back on track ...

If you could summarize the main points to your success, what would they be?

Thanks TS...

Optimus

[MrsNOP]

I don't think your relationship will survive, based on your comments regarding your wife's 12 year affair.

I do believe that you BOTH can make a choice to leave the past behind, fix the mistakes and move on. From your post, it appears that you have taken steps toward that end. It will still entail much hard work for both of you, and the outcome is uncertain.

In the past you posted:

I don't want any help. I am just giving my honest reactions to posts on this board, and writing down my own thoughts about my situation.

I just wanted to let you know that you don't know everything; that I would be curious to know where you got your expertise on relationships from.

You're a troll and you have reading comprehension issues.

MrsNOP - I substituted the word troll for my first word choice which was a$$hole. I can use smaller words if you have difficulty grasping my point.

Edited to remove double quote.

[Burgbud]

You're a troll...

Yes, he is, and he's in troll heaven right now because you gave him exactly what he wanted. Not only that you said something, edited it, then not only did you tell him you'd edited something you told him what that something was. Do or do not, dude, but please don't half-ass it like that.

TS, congratulations on your reconciled marriage. You're a lucky man. May you and your wife continue to enjoy a blessed union.

[MrsNOP]

Yes, he is, and he's in troll heaven right now because you gave him exactly what he wanted. Not only that you said something, edited it, then not only did you tell him you'd edited something you told him what that something was.

TSiA has a well-established history of snarking at just about everyone who posts anything other than "attaboys".
He also slaps people who are taking the time to respond to him and give him other perspectives with the "what are your qualifications - are you an expert" smarta$$ remark. Even when half a dozen people have told him that they make no claim to being a certified/licensed whatever. They're just ordinary folks discussing difficult issues.

Do or do not, dude, but please don't half-ass it like that.

I had cut and pasted the same quote twice, so I edited it, removed the redundancy and since the forum flags it edited, I referenced what I had edited. How that constitutes do or not do or half-assing, you'll have to explain.

I'm not Luke Skywalker and you're not Yoda.

MrsNOP -

[Greeneyedlass]

TSinAtlanta,

I'm glad that you and your W are doing well, but there is absolutely no need for your condescending tone towards the NOP's. (I just wanted to let you know that you don't know everything)...neither of them (as well as anyone else on here) have ever said that they know everything...about R's or anything else. However, based on many of your posts...the NOP's weren't the only ones thinking you guys wouldn't make it. Of course you only post certain things on this BB...but going off of your general tone and demeanor on here...I'd have bet against it as well. Glad to know I'd lose that bed.

I find myself wondering why you felt you had to tear someone else down while posting your own success. I don't expect an answer to that, I doubt you would answer it...just stating a thought. You are NOT superior to anyone else on this BB (which is the tone you convey)...we are all equals here...no matter how long we've been here or the situation our M is in. We all root for each other and celebrate in each others triumphs...but when you're a jerk, we're going to let you know that too.

GEL

[Burgbud]

TSiA has a well-established history of snarking at just about everyone who posts anything other than "attaboys".

I know. As you said, he's a troll. Trolls internet-wide want attention and to evoke a reaction. You recognized him for what he is and then gave him exactly what he wanted. That makes no sense; you're just admitting that you can't restrain yourself even though you recognize restraint is the best course of action. Unless you don't know how to handle trolls, in which case please accept my apology and this advice: don't feed the trolls.


How that constitutes do or not do or half-assing, you'll have to explain.

You edit something because you don't want it to be part of your message. If you then go back and state what it was you edited, it's right back in there. So what if the board flags the post as edited? Why do you feel the need to explain yourself and negate an action you felt important enough to take? It's like you want credit for restraint without exhibiting any. That's half-assing it.


I'm not Luke Skywalker and you're not Yoda.

I'm not Ben Franklin but a penny saved is still a penny earned. What's your point?

[MrsNOP]

You recognized him for what he is and then gave him exactly what he wanted. That makes no sense; you're just admitting that you can't restrain yourself even though you recognize restraint is the best course of action.

No.

I recognize him for what he is and stated what he is.

I made a conscious choice to respond.

That's not the same as a lack of restraint, despite your assertion.

What doesn't make sense is that you recognize what he is and then congratulate the troll for a successful marriage that probably doesn't even exist.

I'm not Ben Franklin but a penny saved is still a penny earned. What's your point?

I don't establish my life's standards from or base my personal choices on a sci-fi movie.

MrsNOP -

[Lillieperl]

When you edit something, you can uncheck the box that says something like "show that it was edited" and then it WON'T show that it was edited.