Oh sure....I absolutely agree with you. Identifying the actual problems is a tricky process. I found myself thinking "I" was the majority of the problem for a long long time. It took me some time to learn to separate what actions of mine contributed to our problems....and what truly were issues of my H's as well. I spent a long time thinking "if I did this" or "if I do that" etc. in hopes of making myself attractive to him. It was hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that he does find me attractive but he doesn't show it.
It's also taken me quite a bit of time to learn how to talk to my H in a way that doesn't come across as nagging or condescending. I used to tip-toe around topics in an attempt to not hurt his manly pride....ummmmm, don't do that anymore. Now I'm very straightforward and to the point...I'm not worried about sugar-coating anymore. Seems to work better for us.
