Do you want to save your marriage? If so, then why?
Well, yes, I just said she apologized for the affair (above). Accountability - she has promised no more contact. I ask her if she ever thinks about him; she says she does, wondering how is doing. She calls whenever she knows she is going to be late, explaining where she is (dentist appts, etc.). She sometimes calls in the middle of the day, asking how I am doing. I know this takes some effort on her part, since she is a classroom teacher, so she has very little free time during the day. We don't have a signout system or anything like that, if that's what you mean.
Yes, I want to save our marriage. We have a very satisfying sexual life. We enjoy doing things together - Atlanta Opera, singing together in Church Chancel Choir, I get along well with her parents and she with my Mother. We can talk together about things that bother us, more so since the affair discovery.
One thing that caught my eye when I first found out about the affair was a quote from Spring, "After the Affair",
Not a direct quote (so I might have left something out):
If both partners take responsibility for matters which led up to affair
If both partners can discuss openly and honestly problems and concerns about relationship
If the partners have a satisfying sexual life with each other
There is a good chance they can rebuild their relationship after an affair into a stronger relationship.
I am curious as to why you think our marriage won't survive. I absolutely don't agree with you that I should leave and won't take any of that advice about leaving.
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
