The Art of Sexual Ecstasy - Anand

[TSinAtlanta]

I have the impression you get at certain sense of elf esteem, even a holier-than-thou feeling by being so close to the church. Be very careful of this. Is this not your vanity at work here? Are you trying to appear holy by acting like you are working to save your marriage, trying to forgive your wife?
Well, that's an interesting reaction, but if the members of our church - a very liberal one, by the way - saw that, I am sure they would get a real laugher out of that. Actually, we are Presbyterian, but in the Bible Belt. Our pastor likes to show the difference between our congregation and others by saying that, if someone in one of our Sunday School class says, "I am not sure I agree with this doctrine in the Bible," the leader will say, "That's interesting; could you explain further?" Whereas some other congregations in our town might react to the same comment by saying, "Let us all pray that you see the error of your ways." I am prone to send out emails with funny graphics and sometimes have to attach the EXPLICIT label to make sure no one is offended. I am just saying I get comfort from the interactions with others and that I respect some of the church leaders (I am not one).

As far as my being angry goes, I went on a website this morning:

NAVACO ANGER SCALE
and took an anger test. I really tried to answer the questions truthfully; for example:

____ 9. You are hounded by a salesperson from the moment that you walk into a store

I usually feel sorry for the guy, or girl, because they have to be so obnoxious in order to keep their job. So for that one, I put down: 0 = I would feel very little or no annoyance

Anyway, my result came up:

46 - 55 You are substantially more peaceful than the average person

I know, "You are repressing anger anyway; you didn't answer truthfully; this test doesn't mean anything; yada, yada, yada"

As far as the details, or was I not around or whatever, it was mostly phone sex, on days when she got home from school, early because I would stay at work until 5 or 5:30. It was a continuation of an affair she had had with someone she knew in her former marriage. She went into the affair to compensate for the fact that her first husband had cheated on her repeatedly. The affair was over when we met. Then the OM called her up 2-3 years after we started living together. She was shocked and when he mentioned the affair, she said emphatically, "It's over." Apparently, and I get this from a copy of a letter the OM sent to his wife after the discovery of the affair, the OM kept up the contacts and eventually talked her into recommencing the affair. It was almost all phone sex, except for 2 or 3 personal visits in a neutral city that she lied about.

A final thing.

1) very low self esteem, enjoying the pain your wife caused
2) strong ego and arrogance, thinking you are better than others in being so holy as to take your wife back, love her and be willing to work with her toward redemption


How can you have strong ego and arrogance and low self-esteem at the same time? I suppose if you think it is possible, in your world it is possible.