Quote: (Don't try and say BF only means this in a very limited way, maybe just for sex or whatever. He says R, which to me means the total package) OK, when I first read that, I thought BF was a religious fundamentalist. Now, no. But, I think the rationale behind this macho posturing and strutting is he, or any man who does it, wants to be taken seriously. So how are men taken seriously in our culture. By macho posturing and strutting. It's an act, but an important one, because these are signals that many women react positively to.
I'm female, I hit the big 5-0 soon and I don't find macho posturing appealing.
There is an evolutionary/psychological drive in woman toward men who are capable, stable, confident. I think it is those characteristics that can be (or at least the appearance of them) in the mix of macho strutting that is appealing. There have been some research showing something running underneath in women who are ovulating that increases their tendency to go after bad boys.
However, the underground longing for confidence, capability and stability comes from the need to have an ungirding of support during pregnancy and the rearing of children.
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Now, I have not done any of this macho BS'ing, so automatically women on the board can dismiss me as "childish, hateful, verbally abusive" (read a 5-year-old boy who doesn't know how to act in polite society). Yeah, that's the ticket. That's what I didn't get. Why should women who say, or think of themselves as wanting a caring relationship in which their man shows them respect and doesn't try to run their lives for them, why should such women react so favorably to such macho posturing? And why should I be attacked as "hateful, abusive, childish", if I don't want to play that game?
You need to get down off the sacrificial altar, lay down the knife and stop being a martyr. You've engaged in sarcastic, cutting remarks toward men and women here and frankly, you've been something of a dlck-head. Acting all surprised that people respond to that negatively is a form of deception to yourself.
You aren't being "attacked as "hateful, abusive, childish" by anyone on this forum because you aren't playing macho games. Stop responding to whatever conflicts you've had on another forum to the people here. We weren't there. And stop dragging NY into your fray here, the man doesn't even post on this particular forum. If you have issues with him, take it to the forum in which he participates.
What you're doing, running between forums fomenting sh*t is really strange. Why are you doing it?
Showing a woman respect isn't what is causing your problems either here or in your marriage. The whiniest, most disfunctional people in the world can treat someone with respect, but that's not a golden ticket that trumps every other interaction in your relationships.
Now, if you can get past whatever weird rut you've gotten into here, start talking to us like we're real people rather than some oddity that you're observing on a petri dish while making cryptic rude comments about us.
If I recall your situation correctly, your wife has had a long term affair that had been going on since the first of your marriage and went on for years. You found out recently and she cut off contact with him. That has got to be discombobulating to know that everything you knew for the past umpteen years of your marriage was undergirded by falsity.
I can't imagine the pain that must entail, nor the sense of betrayal. How are you dealing with it?
