My attraction to strong men has nothing to do with bodice ripping nonsense. Additionally, I am young (34) but not so young that I don't know about healthy relationships. And I cannot believe that you'd listen to a woman who had an affair with a man for TWELVE years, a man who is a macho turd, and completely discount the words of the women on this forum who are fighting for their men and their marriages, tooth and nail. Boggles the mind.
I do not, for the record, want a man who tries to take away my individuality. I don't want a tyrant.
What I do want is a man who is strong enough to maintain his own boundaries and not become a doormat. I want a man who sees through my "tests" (as Blackfoot likes to call them) and can effectively deal with me. I want a man who is virile and sexy. I want a man who is strong enough to keep me in line without using anger or brute strength. I want a man who has a...force of personality...not a mushy couch potato yes man.
Fwiw, my husband is not a wussy couch potato yes man. He lets me run roughshod over him, at times, but is getting better about equalizing things (as am I) before they get to that point.
Look, it was hard for me to hear that my personal style might not be attractive or sexy to the male population. It hit me where it hurts, so to speak. I'm sorry that you are learning the hard way--via your wife's affair--that there are weak spots on your persona.
However, you can sit back and rail against the injustice of it all, or you can do something about it and become the man that she dreams about.
