I dont think calling someone my minion is a good way to get off on the right foot TSinA.
Look, I go to church every Sunday, and we have to watch what we say; we can't call someone an SOB when we think that, because we have to see these people every Sunday and other days of the week. The great thing about this board is it's anonymous so you don't have to give dishonest compliments you don't feel ("You go girl, you are the tops") and keep away from criticism or honest reactions. If someone says, "what BF means is . . . " and you don't respond yourself, I get this image of an oriental pasha sitting on a pile of cushions surrounded by adoring "minions" who jump at the chance to show how much they admire him. Now, it's nice to get compliments here, which I have gotten a few of, though mostly posters who would jump at the chance to p*ss on my grave, if they cared at all. It's just nice for me here not to have to shovel out a lot of BS compliments that I don't feel. Since most of the reaction I get here is either massive indifference or howls of protest, at least I know I am getting honesty, however unpleasant. If you want a personal cheering section, go to church, or pay someone $120 an hour (Michele or someone else).
As far as money goes, I just brought that up as an example. I feel defensive about the money imbalance, because I fantasize my WS thinks less of me as a man because of it. But she has never said one word about it, so all that is probably in my head. We married each other late, in our 40's, so we had already set up our spending habits and have separate checking accounts, etc. It's never been an issue, although we have discussed arranging things for probate, etc., "in the event of our demise", etc. I just brought up the issue as an example of dominance/submission.
I still don't have a handle on your situation, since your replies don't give any specific instances, Yes I should have been more dominant in the sense that I became insecure in one area and her attitude change because of it and concurrent attraction to OM caused me to stop behaving like I know I should, I don't know what that means, but maybe you think it's none of my eff'ing business.
I brought up the biology, because you had said biology proves your dominance/submission theory, but if it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
I'm not sure which post to reply to; it's usually more convenient to reply directly to your last post, but I think I read you saying you want a reply to Attitude leads to behavior, or maybe not.
Yeh, I do tend to rub people pretty roughly here, but how can I escape my male heritage (biology). Dave Barry gives the following scenario:
Male:(bumping into another M): Hey, watch where you're f*cking going! 2nd M: Oh, yeh, well eff you. Male: Oh, yeh, well eff you back (they shove each other) -------------------------------------------------------- Female: (bumping into another F): Oh, excuse, me. I am so sorry! 2nd F: No, it was my fault. Female: Those are lovely shoes. (They go shopping together).
Is that biology?
"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929.
