I dont think calling someone my minion is a good way to get off on the right foot TSinA. I am not a king, I have no servants. I do not wish to be one and abdicate that position whenever unwittingly found in it. I am a warrior and enjoy handing out deserved azz whoopings. I enjoy being a magician on occasion and will make you disappear from my view if you keep annoying me. Being a lover/ poet is fun too but it is hard work for me unless the right brain chemistry is in me and you are not likely to engender that. I started a thread in this forum to talk to you. I told you I was doing that, and then you started a thread here also.
Quote: I am posting in this forum,...short on time, don’t wish to go bebopping about the board, and also because I know if I say something that is in error to you the strong willed, independently minded, marriage positive, vocal opinion having ladies that I already know on this forum will gladly hand me my head on a platter
Claiming I am ignoring you when you post where I dont read is pretty lame. If you want to talk more bring it over here.
You pick on people and wonder where they all go. With this attitude I dont think I have anything to offer you.
I am not going to address your questions on biology, they are not going to help you with your sitch.
I will make a comment on your remarks about your sitch. Depending on how you respond we will see if I reply.
Quote: You mean you messed up because you didn't act as the head of the household? X is your ex-wife? You should have been more dominant, because your x wanted it that way, and she told you that?
My WS makes more money than I (it is 60% her, 40% me). I don't feel comfortable making the important decisions about her money, and I think she would fight that anyway, and I don't want to fight about it anyway. So I guess if I don't act more dominant (your word), then I guess I am f*cked, since I don't want to and it doesn't feel right from inside of me, anyway.
Yes I did not act as the Head of my HouseHold. I made some poor choices, that a H who was protecting and caring for his W and M wouldnt/shouldnt make. I acted like a college kid, having a roommate and hanging out with his friends instead of making time for his M more important. Yes when I say x I mean my WAS. Its not a integer I threw into the sentence. Yes I should have been more dominant in the sense that I became insecure in one area and her attitude change because of it and concurrent attraction to OM caused me to stop behaving like I know I should. I should have made decisions in the best interest of our M, and created a safe defensible space for us. I expected her to make decisions about love and feelings like a man does. But I didnt act like a man does when his interests are being threatened. I acted like a cold aloof [censored]. why would she act like a man when I didnt? She acted like a woman. Which she is very much and was a great wife while I was acted like a husband. Dont get the impression that she is some meek, mild mannered wall flower who has no mind or opinion. and now we both suffer because of my failures.
My WS makes more money than I (it is 60% her, 40% me). So what? its both of your monies, if you believe in the partnership you claim too. Does this bother you? does she pay for 60% of household expenses? Does the division of financial responsibility seem fair to you?
I don't feel comfortable making the important decisions about her money, If you made 100% of the money would this change? how about 75% your and 25% her. Why does who makes what percentage change anything. Is it in your head or hers? Who makes the important decisions about your money?
and I think she would fight that anyway do you think or know? has she ever fought you on it truly? or just made token resistance.
I don't want to fight about it anyway Under what circumstances do you want to fight? What do you argue about? Do you always give in to her? Do you ever put your foot down and say no. or jsut act passively aggressively.
So I guess if I don't act more dominant (your word), then I guess I am f*cked, since I don't want to and it doesn't feel right from inside of me, anyway.
Why dont you want to? What would feel right to you? Do things feel right currently? or do you feel out of control? I wont say your are F'ed. You and your W have your own R dynamic. if you are happy in it and she is, it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks of it.
I am asking questions to see what your mindset is and how you feel about certain things. I dont care about the money issue, if you arent comfortable with it bring up another subject that you feel out of control in.
