but every once in a while one of the kids we didn't know we had, you know not-me, or I-didn't, or ida-know, gets into the cookies and eats them all up.

How funny I have some of them there peeps creeping around my house to!

as the package is always neatly closed back up.

Hmmm maybe I need to start looking at the cat then. Mine are hardly ever neatly closed.

My personal favorite is going to get a box of say triscuits out, opening it up to find an empty bag inside.

It must have been empty when you bought it!