Way to go, hairdog! You're doing great. Your new behavior has her totally unsettled-- and that's a good thing. It's not getting her the payoff she's been used to, namely, you rushing to placate her, or fighting back.

And cobra, if you're reading this, THIS is what all of us have been talking about. This is what I meant by leaving the field. It is not an admission of defeat. It is a statement that you will not play this game by these rules anymore. If you will disengage from those fights, yeah, she may escalate at first because you've thrown her for a loop, but if you don't fight back, there can be no fight. If you stop doing your side of it, she will HAVE to do something different. It may be good, it may be bad, but it will be different. But the main point is that you will feel better about YOURSELF. (Gee, these colors are fun! )

hd, you quoted blackfoot as asking
Quote:

Oh yeah What reasons does she have for loving you? What ties and common LL do you have.

If you read his question, what he asked was: What would SHE give as reasons for loving you? Not why do you think you're lovable, but if you were not in the room and someone unknown to both of you asked her why she loves you, what would she say?

Of course, WE can all plainly see why someone would love you. You're devoted, funny, witty, have the patience of a Jewish saint-- you said it: what's not to love??