Wow, bf. Thanks for the lengthy analysis. It's kind of funny, because, I have been getting lots of support and analysis of what's going on in my M from the women on this board and from a female friend, but not much from the guys. Nothing against the guys on this board, but most of them, like me, are dealing with the insecurities that come from the SSM situation. It's refreshing and eye-opening to hear the alpha-male point of view. (Nopkins used to do this, but Ms.Nop has him too busy these days mopping the floor and baking cookies. )
As far as the meds side/effects thing, I'm already feeling a lot better than I was feeling early in the week. And dang, I almost busted a gut when I read this:
Quote: Actually I think the meds is a double edged sword in your favor. Any slip up can be blamed on them and your dissasociation because of it will be taken as detached.
Which is exactly what I've been doing. Although I agree with you that I have to be careful with this. In fact, this morning she blamed something I said on the meds, and I told her that no, I was feeling fine and lucid and that it wasn't "the meds talking." (I think I had said something to her like, 'you don't need to speak to me with such anger in your voice.') In response to that, she said, "well, if that's the 'real' you, then I think it's all over." She's doing a lot of the "I can't take this anymore" stuff, and before, I used to placate her. Now, I just stay quiet or say, "want me to call realtor, or do you?"
We actually parted this morning on fair terms, and I feel pretty good about everything. It's hard to see her struggling so much with this -- you never want to see someone you love going through a painful time. And yet, I totally understand the need to be the strong one. As you said, "What would ballsy initial R HD say to this?" Maybe I need to get a bumper sticker with "WWBIRHDD?" on it. Definitely words to live by.
Thanks again, and thanks to Lil and Chrissy and GEL for your comments, too. To summarize: I'm fine with the meds, and yes, there is never a convenient time to inconvenience Ms.Hdog.
)